Honestly Bri

Twitterpated

2012-01-29T01:32:00.001-06:00

I think I'm getting addicted to twitter. It's fun. You should try it and follow me @thelovelylime ... Fo realz.

On the serious side, went to pick up Mr. Darcy in NWA tonight with Trev and Chris. While we were up there, Mason planned to propose to Taylor and we got to be apart of it. Pretty awesome!

Got home and got to watch Justin Bieber the movie. Love that movie. I know that's weird, but if you haven't seen it then you can't judge. Gotta atleast give it a chance. It made me a bieliber.

Watching that movie made me pretty stoked for what God has planned for me. I want to change the world. Idk how I'm gonna do that, but I really want to make a difference somewhere in a big way. Going to keep praying that he enables me to do so. Gotta get over my fear of public speaking when it comes to God stuff and just trust that he will speak through me. Gotta keep praying about it. If you are reading this, please pray with me about it too. I've been feeling lately that God really wants me to give my testimony in front of people in a speaking setting. I really wish it could be just all women when I give it, but I know that's probably not possible. Going to have to pray that he gives me courage to tell the truth in love and not be afraid of what people will say or think about my situation and my messed up life.

Ok, I'm wiped out, long day! Just thought I'd write what was on my heart, it's on my iPhone so I'm sorry if there are spelling or grammar errors!

Much love,
Bri

SO STINKIN BLESSED!

2012-01-26T23:17:00.003-06:00

So.... I've lost 15 pounds in 3 weeks!!!

WOOOHOOOO

Um. I'm excited. I'm stoked. My waist is smaller. My skinny jeans are on the verge of fitting. Life is GOOD!

So, on that wonderfully happy note, let's talk about what GOD is doing in my life lately. Because I know you wanna read about that ;)

1. The JOY of the LORD is my STRENGTH!!
I never realized how much this phrase has meant to me until this trial in my life. It seriously puts things in perspective. If I have the Joy of the Lord, that's all the strength I need! I Know he is going to get me through whatever I am going through, because He promises to do so!

2. Healing is in HIS hands!
Healing is coming like it has never been seen in my life before. On so many different levels. I won't post for the whole world to see, but I am being healed. I was prayed over, I was spoken over, it is crazy the things that have been happening in my life. I've never felt so good physically, which is such a blessing and an answered prayer. I am able to not be afraid when people touch me anymore. Such a God thing!

3. He makes Beauty out of Ashes!
This was spoken over me by my aunt, it is such a cool story, and it gave me goosebumps and made me bawl when she told me. So, the night before I left for my mission trip to Haiti, I broke up with my boyfriend. We were pretty serious, atleast I thought we were and he said we were, but God was telling me to end it because of things he was doing in our relationship that were not healthy or biblical to me. Well, that night after I had broken up with him, I was devastated. I don't think I've cried like that since I tore my ACL (in my knee). My physical and emotional pain were parallel, I could not tell one from the other. My heart was literally broke. At 4AM that night, I remember what I was doing. I was in and out of sleep, and I had just woken up and started crying again. I was questioning going to Haiti, and the devil was attacking me really hard. My Aunt told me after I had gotten back from Haiti that the same night at exactly 4 am God woke her up and said "Start praying for Briana". So, she prayed and prayed, fighting for me spiritually, and I thought that was just the coolest most amazing thing that God has ever done for me. Who knew, that in my lowest and weakest moment, that God was watching out for me and knew that I needed someone interceeding in prayer for me?? And then later, when I was back from Haiti having another terrible week because I did not want to be back in the states to face my screwed up life, that He put that in my life to encourage me and let me know that HE is still in control and loves me so much. It has strenthened and deepend my faith. I am so thankful. After she told me that, she also said that He gave her something to tell me, "God is going to make Beauty out of the Ashes of your life- He knows what He is doing, and He is going to make your life beautiful with these ashes you were handed to begin with".... it made me bawl. So awesome. And I got to looking, and there is a bible verse that has that in it as well-

Isaiah 61:3
"³ and provide for those who grieve in Zion—
to bestow on them a crown of beauty
instead of ashes,
the oil of joy
instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness,
a planting of the LORD
for the display of his splendor."

So awesome!!!! I just am so amazed and humbled lately at what God is doing in our lives.

4. Forgiveness is mandatory, not optional, in every situation!
So, I'll be honest: my biggest sin in life is not giving forgiveness. I've struggled with it all my life, ever since my parents got divorced, all the way up until now when I found out that my father was not my biological father and that there was a whole new family that wanted to know me. In the bible, it says that those who do not forgive won't be forgiven by God. That's a pretty heavy statement. I never realized how big forgiveness was to God until this year. But it makes total sense. How can we, total sinners, be good enough to not forgive people when God sent his ONLY son, Jesus, to die and come back to life for all of our terrible sins?? I am a sinner. So how can I not forgive someone when I am just as bad as them in the long run? So that's another huge lesson lately, just forgive and move on- but learn from yours and others mistakes and make the best of the situations you are in and have been dealt- because they are for a reason and can be for Glorifying God when we let them and make ourselves available and interruptable for the gospels sake. That leads me to my next lesson of the year....

5. BE INTERUPPTABLE!
In the New Testament, Jesus was interupted most of the time that he was trying to go someplace or heal someone. He was always interrupted! He actually got frustrated a couple of times it seems like, but he would always make time for the people who were inturrupting them. How many times out of our day do we say "Oh... I so would, but I've got to do this! ". For example, after bible study, I am always in a hurry to get out of there because it's late. I can't believe I am telling you this, but honestly, there have been times where I have avoided conversations that could have led into ones that were God honoring and placed there by God because I was too much in a hurry and wanted to be on "my time". How many times during the day do we miss opportunities because we are not "interruptable"? I've been really trying to slow down, look around at the lost people, and pay attention to the 'gospel starving' people around that would love a good Jesus conversation, or just need to be plain loved on. I challenge you to do the same. It's really cool the people you get to talk to and how much joy it gives you by doing and being available to God 24/7 and not just when it's 'convenient' for me.

Ok, that's it for now, but I am so glad I wrote all that down!! I have a really bad memory lately because of the stress I am under, so writing it down and just getting it out helps me process and remember. I hope if you read this that you are challenged as well and are encouraged! Because we do serve a God who cares... all the way from the small and mundane things of our lives up to the huge and life changing thigns going on as well.

Love you guys,
Briana

Living with consequences...

2012-01-08T00:32:00.001-06:00

So, I wrote this the other day on here but wasn't sure if I should post it. I think I should though, because it shows my real self, and how Christian relationships can go when God isn't the center of them. Please don't judge me after reading this. It's just an honest rant. And you should also know that since writing this, the guy being talked about has called and tearily apologized for all the terrible stuff he had put me through, and God is doing amazing works in his life. I so care about this individual and want whats best for him, and I want God to totally freak him out an blow his mind with what only our God can do!! I'm so excited what God is gonna do in his life...

Disclaimer: the following post is filled with brash opinion, ranting tangents, and non relevant information. Please proceed with caution, the author is not responsible for lost brain cells or wasted time. You have been warned...

Ever have that feeling where you just know you are starting one of these "avoid these people at all costs because they hate you" lists? well, I just had that experience and now have a list that is quite similar to that. I really wish people would grow up, treat others with respect, and just plain love Jesus and love people.

I know I've made some stupid mistakes In the past, and more specifically in the past few months, but I know that now and am paying for the consequences. I should have known that the gut feeling of "she is trouble, maybe he isn't quite over her like he promised a million times he was" was one to pay attention to. I was wrong. And now I'm living with the consequences of someone ripping out my insides and throwing them on the ground while he walks over them with flippant Facebook posts referring to said girl and how he never will quit fighting for her.
Also love how this post will be public. Good thing no one reads this. Or let's hope that's the case. I'm past the point of caring honestly. I speak my mind lately in a God loving manner, and I thoroughly enjoy it.

Anyways, back to the consequences and lessons I've learned.

When someone tells you that you are "the one", goes on dinner dates with your dad to get approval, tells you how God is all up in and around the relationship, how he knows God wants you together, and talks about your future together and your future kids etc... don't listen to it. Until a ring is on that finger, don't play into the lies. Just don't. I know it will be tempting, the words probably are coming out of his mouth like butter on a hot biscuit, but don't do it. Guard needs to be kept up. At all times.
And when he starts getting defensive about you having his phone, never letting you read over his shoulder, be worried. He is hiding something.

My favorite one is when he says he is going to try his hardest to hang out with you before you leave for Haiti because he claimed to be sick the night before when he had said he was going to come over then... But then you get a text saying he knows you are going to be mad about this but he wants to hang out with said girl instead (refer to first paragraph rant) even though his girlfriend (that's you) is leaving the country and won't see him for about 2 and a half weeks. He will try to make the excuse of "well I promised her first that I would hang out with her"... This was before last night, when he told you that he would try his hardest to be not sick to hang out with you this night before you leave. For you blondes out there, that means he lied and hid it from you. Awesome huh? Oh, and for kicks, he is planning on going to go to a 10:30 movie with said girl.... Alone.

Rule of having a girlfriend- especially in a God pursuing and God loving way: I don't care who you are, you need permission to go out alone with another girl. Especially one you used to be in love with. Especially especially when your current girlfriend had specifically asked at the beginning of the relationship that said boyfriend would keep that friendship to a minimum because it hurt her heart the way he had picked the other girl over her the semester before.
Alert: if this has happened to you, douche move has been played. You officially have been downgraded on the list of said douches priorities. Abandon ship. Cut losses. Because the next step is called physical cheating my friends... That stage was a mere emotional cheating. Honestly not sure which one sucks more...

Ah that felt good :) I am soo in love with my savior, and if a guy is so caught up in himself that he doesn't do what is right in Gods eyes, then why waste my time? Time is so precious. I've learned lately that in the end, family is the best and closest thing you have. They are stuck with you! It's such a great feeling to know that someone isn't going to trade you in, break up with you, not care about you, etc. Family. And I am so blessed now in that department, because I just gained so many new family members... Oh lord thank you for your provisions. I love you and trust you fully, and am relying on you for every step here on out.

Ok, done Ranting :) I feel better. Love you lord :)

Getting to know you...

2012-01-06T00:21:00.001-06:00

So, today I got to hang out with my "new" grandma and aunts... We went to Conway to shop and just hang out. I love getting to know them better, and when I am with them I am learning new stuff all of the time.
Then when I got home, I was going to go get some hay for the horses, but ended up going out to eat with mom dad and Madison at lahuertas. It was good... Chris texted me though when we were on our way saying he was going to be there at 7 if I wanted to go. Thought that was funny, ended up not going there though and just taking a nap. Then I went bowling with him and we decided that this year is the year of kayaking!!! I'm so excited to get back on the bandwagon and start my new life of energy and relaxation through enjoying gods creation of the outdoors :) this year I am going to kayak, hike, bike, horse ride, and run. Hoping to get fit enough to do a 5k by July 4th... Would love that.
On a side note, on the way home from conway we talked about spring break or summer trip to colorado with grandma to spend some time getting to know everyone. I think that would be good.
Ok, just a lil update, much love
-Bri

A Year of New

2012-01-01T12:21:00.001-06:00

Happy new year!! I am so blessed. I love my friends and family and my God.
Spent the new years eve with Brandon Sam Jeff Laura Aspen Beth Latasha Beau and Emily. We played games ate pizza and then went to the lookout at Chaffee to toast the new year and watch fireworks... It was great :)

God is going to use this new year for his glory and I'm so excited!!!

Mother Haiti

2011-12-31T10:49:00.001-06:00

Mother Haiti.... That was the name of our grand adventure we had all been waiting months for. For me, the trip was almost non existent. I am glad God chose to slap me upside the head through a few people to make me realize that I needed to be on that trip, no matter the junky circumstances of my life the day before we left.

This trip taught me so much, and opened my eyes to a different world than one I have come to know. God opened my eyes, and came through when I asked him to "give me Your eyes for just one second, give me Your eyes so I can see, everything that I've been missing, give me Your love for humanity"...
So crazy that this girl, who used to really dislike kids and the human race in general, had come to love people with so much passion that she cried every day almost in Haiti because of the sadness and poverty there.

One of the things I've come to realize is that people in poverty are not deprived of Gods love. Just because someone lives in the worst conditions possible does not make their Joy from the Lord any less of a Joy. From my experiences, they are actually much happier and nicer than most people I know.

Here's a recap of some of the things we did while there... 1. Went to schools and gave out school supplies and shared the gospel, 2. Went and did kids clubs and shared bible stories and sang, 3. Went to a revival in Les Caynes, 4. Did street evangelism, 5. Shared the Jesus film in the middle of a village, 6. Cleaned a beach with new Haitian friends, 7. Loved on kids at the Lavaca orphanage, 8. Went to church and listened to John preach with a translator, 9. Loved on some more orphans at the orphanage in port au prince, and last but not least, 10. Found a ladies "little black book" at the airport that had all of her passwords and sensitive information and am getting the opportunity to reach out to her also.

For now I'm done, but I will update on each section as I have time. Can't wait to write about what God had done through this trip.

Life changes

2011-12-30T13:20:00.001-06:00

Life has been so all over the place lately. I just don't even know where to start to catch you up..

School:
God blessed me so stinkin' much this semester... I had the worst semester of my life in my "real life", so my school was definitely affected. I thought for awhile that I was going to drop out, but my mom said I really should just tough it out: and if I failed, then atleast I had a good excuse.
But, that's the amazing thing about our Lord. When we are weak, He is strong. He is made great in our weaknesses, and loves to be glorified. This situation is definitely one that glorified Him in every area of my life.
He gave me all A's and one C. If you knew exactly how bad I was failing during midterm, you would understand how big of a deal this is. I had all D's and one A. All of these classes were upper level graduating classes, and he provided. The class that I got the C in at finals, I had a 68.5 in the class. I have no earthly idea why the teacher would round that grade up. I know it was a total and utter God thing. I wasn't going to get to graduate this semester with my associates if I had gotten a D. Praise God for that! It was super encouraging to see those final grades while I was lying under my mosquito net in Leogane, Haiti. My squeals could probably be heard all over the compound.

Relationships:
Not sure on how to start this section either. It's been a rough semester relationally too. I won't go into detail, but I really learned about peoples character, and what I really need in my life right now. I learned that I let people do what they want with me and settle just because I love people so much and want to please people. I didn't care about myself, I cared more about others to an extent that really drained me and left me blindsided. When I did try to stick up for myself, I ended up being really hurt because they didn't care about what I needed in life right then with all my circumstances going on and could care less because they had selfish motives. That is one thing I've really learned about people: it's all about number one, even within Christians, that selfish mindset is ever so present. Haiti really changed my whole mind set on this issue... But we will discuss that more in detail later.

Family:
I gained so much new family this semester. I am so blessed, and even though my emotions have been on a loop-d-loop rollercoster, I realize now that I am so blessed. Who else can say they have 5 full fledged families that love them? It's crazy, but I know that God has a plan for everything that has happened and that in due time it will all be processed in my mind and make sense. Please pray that I will have peace about the decisions I am going to have to be making soon about things in this area.

Horses:
Horses have been on the backburner unfortunately. Still have all 4, but they are spread out. Naz is at grandpa allens, Darcy is in Fayetteville at a prospective buyers, and psyche and clusie are at home. My direction right now with them is to bring Darcy home, get him going again, sell him. Then get naz back on track with his back problems so kids can start riding him. Psyche, our love, just to get him back in shape so we can train for dressage, western pleasure, and barrels. I really want to try barrels with him, I really think he would have fun with it with his spiritedness. Maybe try Darcy out with them too. D is 16.2hh, and he has really good ground cover. We'll see... I really miss horses and am sad that all of this has kept me from them this semester. But God has given me a huge gift of a few of my new family members loving horses, so when I found that out it was just another reassurance that God is all up in this situation :)

Conclusion: this semester had been the roughest time of my life, but when God gives you trials and tough times, he is the strength you need :) he wants to be glorified, and if you do that, it will give you the joy that will be a bright spot in your darkest times. Love you all, I'll post later about Haiti trip.

-Bri

2011-05-21T23:16:00.000-05:00

I am trying to update my blog background, but blogger is being mean to me.. so for now, blank background. Boo.

So I've been busy since I last blogged with life. Lots has been going on. Finished this semester out with:

Data Modeling: A

Total Fit: A

Golf: A

Intro Programming: B (yaay! PTL)

Net Client Support: B

Biology: C

So overall, I am happy. God has blessed me with great grades, and I was so nervous there for awhile.

I am going to start my internship @ AOG on Monday. That should be interesting.

Ok, just wanted to update a tad on here, now I am going to get off.

Oh, also, Darcy is going to a new home on June 5th. Bittersweet.

-Bri

Rise up to the Occasion that is Your LIFE

2011-02-19T02:24:00.003-06:00

So I just had a sappy moment. A humbling moment.

Well, a few actually.

I just watched "500 Days of Summer". I don't know how that movie triggered so many emotions in me. It did trigger quite a few though; loneliness, dissapointment, abandonment, forgetfulness, love, the opposite of peace, what it is like without God,

that last one really got me choked up.

Until you think about life without God, things seem so normal. Then it hits you; wow, God really did not have to be available to us. He could have abandoned us, left us, dissapointed us, forgotten about us. But he is God. He loves us so much. It gave me so much hope, but then again gave me a burden and sadness because of all the people that I know personally and not personally that do not know about His love and what God and the Bible is really about.

I've been dwelling in the past. Tonight, today rather, has awoken a new life. I am ready to go forth and make disciples, to go forth and share the hope that is our God. Ready to rise up to the occasion of this Life that he has given to me, with mercy grace and love.

My prayer today is that God will give me the strength, courage, will, hope, determination to go and make disciples and to tell people about Him. That he would continually provide for this Canada mission trip. That he would work out the kinks in the trip, that we would be a blessing to the Hilton family. I pray that He would show me, guide me, in the direction that He would have me go in life. I know my main purpose, but I do not know what avenue He would like me to go and fulfill that purpose in. Thanks Lord, for all that you are, and thank you for continually amazing me. I love you.

2011-01-15T00:43:00.003-06:00

Ever been in a freakishly sad mood?

That's what I have been going through today. Lots of stuff on my mind and I wish I could just get happy. That is hard to do when a heart has been stomped on. Got some text messages today that rocked my world in a bad way. Nothing is ever as it seems, no one is authentic as they try to be, and best friends are NOT 'till the very end'.

Ok, don't read this post if you are not in the mood for me ranting about people. It's not going to be a happy post, I'll warn you that up front.

Actually, I am just too sad to write anything right now. Two heartbreaks in one year is too much for my fragile heart to take. I'm done. I'm out of here, and done with the people that perpetually keep hurting me, intentionally or not, I can't take it anymore. I have lost all of my best friends except 2, one is in Texas and doesn't want to talk on the phone for more than a minute with me because he is too busy with his life and we have lost touch (that's fine, that happens in life, it's just sad), and my other one works 24/7 and we just don't have schedules that match up. So I am friendless (especially after today), jobless (applying at some places though), and soon to be homeless. This is great. Praying for the Lord to show me what the heck to do.

Ok, I'm done.

Mucho Amore,

Bri

What do you do when you are sick?

2011-01-05T17:27:00.002-06:00

What do you do when you are sick?

Well, I clean tack.

I just habitually started cleaning today after tossing my cookies for 5 hours straight, and I found that funny. Not funny enough to laugh about, because my esophagus is dead, but funny enough to write on here about.

Today was crappy. I woke up at 5 am. and started throwing up. I was dizzy, fell down a couple of times, but at least I didn't throw up anywhere but the proper throwing up place. At least I didn't have to work today.

Last night was amazing. Went to a house party with some friends for the hogs game. Taylor G., Caleb B., Danny, and Chris were there with me. Oh, and Joel too. Joel makes me happy :) Well, so do the others, but Joel goes to Arkansas Tech, so when he comes home and graces us with his presence, it is a treat.

The hogs lost though... it was funny watching Taylor and Caleb freak out. I think Caleb cried. Joel Chris and I were laughing. They were because they are OU fans, and I was because I don't know anything about football, and I found it funny that they were so distraught over it. Sports fans crack me up. I want to work at Varsity Grill so that I can be around crazy sports fans all the time.

I am feeling better after writing this. Next Monday school starts, aka HELL starts. I am possibly changing my major, and I am really scared about that. Information Technology has been good to me, I've gotten A's in every course in the department, but I don't know if it is what I am supposed to be doing. In theory it sounds great, but I don't know if my heart is in it like my heart is in English. I love writing, I love grammar (I know you probably can't tell by my atrocious grammar on this blog), but I love showing people and explaining to people why something is grammatically incorrect or a sentence structure needs work. It's fun. I love researching, I love writing papers, I am a total English nerd. Heck, I've even written almost a full fictional (mostly fictional ;)) book. The only problem with it is I don't know if I will be able to make a living with it. Or get a job with it. So I am at a loss as to what to do.

Tell me what to do? ok thanks..

-Briana

It's a New Year... Time for a New me

2011-01-04T00:31:00.003-06:00

So I brought in the New Year in a place I would rather not have brought in the New Year at.

But let's not talk about that.

It was a good experience, but now I know why I do not live that lifestyle of going out and partying and getting drunk. It's just not my scene, and I don't see how anyone would want to do that.

Smoking; also another pet peeve of mine. I get why people smoke, but I do not want to be around smokers to that extent anymore. I smelt like smoke for 2 days afterwards by just being in the presence of heavy smokers, even with showering two times. It is simply disgusting, and my throat hurt from it the next day.

Ok, done ranting.

We had a fabulous time other than that though! Before the festivities began in Fort Worth, we went out to eat at Razoo's restaurant in downtown. Best food I've had in a long time. I got the "tricky fishy" which was grilled and blackened tillapia with grilled crawfish on top, with a cajun rue over all of it with cajun green beans. Wonderful.

Trev got chicken strips. Kinda cracked me up that he got that at a great cajun place. He also got a Hurricane Hell Margarita, and that looked amazingly yummy. Almost ordered a virgin one, but I am too cheap. When Trev was not at our table, we told the waiter it was his birthday, and he brought him out a free cheesecake. I love free food! This was the 'weekend of free food' for me- God really blesses me with that lately haha. We got that free desert there, then at Rosa's Cafe I got an extra meal free because they gave mine to Trevor (which he gave me back- so two meals for the price of one!), then at Romas I got my meal free because she mixed up my order and brought me out the wrong thing- so I got two meals for free! Then at Longhorn steakhouse the other day, there was a hair in my chicken and I was pulling it out as the waitress walked by, and she took that one, cooked me another one and didn't charge me for anything. Thank's Lord!

Trevor got sick the last day we were there though. We were watching a movie (The Other Guys) and he just started puking. He puked after that from 12 at night until the next morning around 10. Poor guy. I cleaned up the puke for him though, and put new sheets on the bed for him, ran a bath for him (haha), and got him whatever he wanted. Basically waited on him hand and foot. I think he enjoyed that a little too much. He started asking for outrageous stuff at the end there, like a butt massage. I declined that offer. Haha oh how I love Trevor.

Right now I just got done filling out forms and paying bills. I hate paying bills. Not fun. But, my parents did sell my car!!! To my philosophy teacher. Kinda funny. One less thing to worry about money wise though.

Psyche will be officially in my name by next week. I am sending off the paperwork and the fees (ick, I hate all the fees. I ended up having to pay 55 dollars). I will be glad when all of this is taken care of and he will be in my name for this show season! Yay!

Taking Nazwan to get chiropractic work done tomorrow. That will be fun to watch. He has been moody lately when it comes to his back being touched, so it's time for chiro. $$$ for that, but it's worth it. He is worth it, him being a happy horse = me being a happy owner.

The horse dentist is coming out Thursday. I'll be excited to get that done too- one more thing off the list.

Ok, I'm going to bed. Hopefully I am not getting sick, I tossed my cookies a little earlier but now I am feeling ok. Hoping I am not getting what Trev had.

Love,

Bri

The Ring I was tellin you about..

2010-12-29T21:13:00.004-06:00

Check out my new bling I got for Christmas!!!

I LOVE IT!

I'm a ring addict... this one is gorgeous :)

:)))

Wish the picture quality was better, it is the shiniest and most expensive ring I have ever seen on my hand- I love bling :)

"Don't be fooled by the rocks that I got, I'm still Jenny from the block".. love this stinkin song!

Ok God, Lesson Learned..

2010-12-28T23:08:00.001-06:00

I asked God to take away my pride. And God said "No".
He said it was not for Him to take away, but for me to give up.

I asked God to make my handicapped child whole. And God said "No".
He said her spirit was whole, her body was only temporary.

I asked God to grant me patience. And God said "No".
He said patience is a by-product of tribulations. It isn't granted, it is earned.

I asked God to give me happiness. And God said "No".
He said He gives me blessings, happiness is up to me.

I asked God to spare me pain. And God said "No".
He said suffering draws me apart from worldly cares and brings me closer to Him.

I asked God to make my spirit grow. And God said "No".
He said I must grow on your own. But He will prune me to make me fruitful.

I asked for all things that I might enjoy life. And God said "No".
He said He will give me life, that I may enjoy all things.

I ask God to help me love others, as much as he loves me.
And God said "Ah, finally you have the idea!"

I just want someone that's afraid to lose me

2010-12-27T23:10:00.003-06:00

....

that is all.

-Bri

I love my job!

2010-12-27T12:56:00.003-06:00

I love my job.

I'm in a thankful mood today, I think because it's my last day working at Paradise Farms. This last week has been great working there, and I am sad that it is ending.

My Job: I get to be farm manager/caretaker for usually around 1-2 weeks while owners of farms in the area are on vacation. I love it because I am always at a different place, meeting new animals (which they all have different personalities, and I love discovering all of them during my stay), and sometimes I get to stay there and house sit as well. This job is perfect for me because I love traveling, always being on the go, and animals are where my heart is. I love taking care of them, loving on them, and it is so rewarding to know that you are being trusted with someone's operation while they are gone. It is always nice to meet with the people a day or so after and see if everything was left like they wanted and that everyone is still ok.

My other part time work is giving riding lessons. Lately I have not been doing as much of that because of the weather and circumstances, but I love doing that as well. Well, I guess I should say that I love teaching the horse crazy kids that I have as students. They are so much fun because they soak up all the information you give them, and they are eager to take care of the horse as well as learn to ride. I have cut back on my number of students that I have been taking though because I get a little burnt out on it when the kids aren't horse crazy and when their parents are difficult to communicate with on scheduling and payment. If they are horse crazy though, then it's a different story.

Ok, well I am off to take a nap! Mmm I love Christmas break :)

-Bri

New Years weekend.. not so much.

2010-12-26T22:12:00.003-06:00

So I was/am planning this roadtrip to Fort Worth at the end of the week.

Trevor lives in Abeline, so it's not too far for him to drive, and we can stay in his grandma's huge house for free (free is good!).

We were planning on Ethan, David, and I going up there and meeting him for New Years weekend (which is also his birthday weekend).

Everything was going good until some stuff happened (parentals aren't happy that I am going with guys), and now I might not be allowed to go.

This sucks.

I am so tired of stuff like this. I want to be able to just pick up and go on a roadtrip with my friends whenever I want to without having to get approval from anyone. I am a good judge of character and can take care of myself. I have my taser and my mace and my Karate training, what more do I need? BLeh.

Ok I am done ranting and venting.

Love,

Briana

Christmas Time is Here

2010-12-26T01:40:00.005-06:00

Today has been a surprisingly good day.

My dad and his family left me this weekend, so I have been with other family.

It's been good, but also sad at the same time because I did not get to have my usual Christmas.

The Loot I got for Christmas:

I got... a ring! It's amazing, I'll post a pic of it later.

A bible with my name engraved on it- my first ever 'study ' bible. Favorite gift of the day.

Earings, diamond studs- they are gorgeous

Pajamas, they are awesome. I got 2 pairs of zebra, one camo, and one plaid tommy hillfigure.

Lots of underwear. My family is so weird. I love the ones they picked out though, haha, they have good taste :P

Money- for my mission trip (which is awesome!)

Laptop case for my mammoth laptop

Truffles! I am going to get so fat off of those..

Secrets by Robin Jones Gunn- a favorite series of mine.

Socks! I love socks!

A car travel kit- with everything and anything I'll ever need in it.

Lots of good horse stuff

Silver Dollar City Season passes!!! YAY!!!

A cute hat and gloves set from Dillards- taking them back though because I want a different color

A bible case- taking that back too though, I didn't like the pattern very much.

Next week will be a semi slow week- I am working at a farm nearby, and then next weekend I am going to Fort Worth to spend some much needed time with Trevor. I miss him so much, it really sucks when your best friend lives 8 hours away. It's his birthday this next weekend also (Jan. 2) and he's turning 22, so we are going to party it up in Fort Worth New Years style with him and his cousins and some of his buddies :)

Chris' Birthday is also Jan 2 (weird that both of my best friends b-days are the same day- it is also the day that I tore my ACL which was a huge part of my life). I wish he could come to Fort Worth with me, but he is doing a family Christmas thing on New Years. :(

Ok, well, I guess I'll go to bed- I tried to sleep earlier but I couldn't. I'll try again I guess.

Love,

Bri

Soo...

2010-12-21T23:03:00.001-06:00

apparently I sound like an idiot.

Awesome.

Atleast I don't sound like a sheep :)

Question Time!

2010-12-21T20:44:00.004-06:00

It's time to play the question game!

1. How does one "get over" somebody?

I've always wondered methodologies on this, so please, somebody enlighten me on this subject.

2. What age gap between a couple is 'appropriate' by societies standards?

3. Why is that age gap there? Why is it not socially acceptable to be with someone who does not fit that criterion?

4. Where in the bible does it back that age gap/society standard up? (I'll answer this one for myself- it does NOT say anything against it in the Bible, so why is it such a big issue for people?!?)

Because I for one am confused on this subject. I would like some answers. Not for any reason, but it has come up in conversation lately and social norms confuse me on why they are right and wrong. That probably doesn't even make any sense to most readers.

Anyways, my day has been not good.

1. I lost my phone. (For good it feels like- I can not find it and I have strip searched my house/barn/cars)

2. I have been having really really bad dreams lately. One's that you don't want to hear about that will haunt me for the rest of my life unless God steps in and does something about it. I think I am going insane.

3. My two best friends are gone this week. Not good when I am going mentally insane and I need them super bad right now.

4. This weekend is Christmas- and that all in itself is thoroughly screwed up. My family is leaving me. Don't ask.

5. This break from school has been more stressful than not. Why does the devil always do this to me?!?!?!?

6. I want to cry.

7. Ok, I think I will go cry. It always helps.

-Bri

My New Dream

2010-12-19T22:37:00.002-06:00

I Had a Dream

Once I used to go on long rides in the woods

I would talk to God and ask him who I was supposed to be.

I loved to laugh, cry, and play

Lived life as full as I knew how

Gave it all I had.

I dreamed a dream, I wished upon many stars,

I prayed to God that He would make it all come true.

But suddenly I grew up

I had no choice but to put up my bluff

Put on a brave face and played it strong.

Inside, I was dying

Along with all my life.

I still laughed, cried, and played

But now it was all a game

Nothing was real, it was just shame.

Then God came.

He was and is, and is to come.

He showed me that all was not lost.

Even though I'd been misused and abused,

I was still alive and would not be abused by my God who loved me so.

He would never give up on me.

Never mistreat me.

Would give me strength no matter what.

Even though my dream was lost,

He gave me a new dream that was better than I had ever dreamt.

I now stand proud for my God who gave me life,

He showed me how to live,

How to dream,

How to be who He wants me to be.

Life is not about me.

Neither is my new dream.

The end.

Baby You're a Firework

2010-12-19T22:09:00.002-06:00

Come on let your colors burst

Addicted to that song.

Right now watchin ' Survivor finale.

Spent the weekend in Bentonville with Sydney and we had a good time. Needed a break from Fort Smith.. So tired of this small town.

Went Ice Skating in Fayetteville and had a blast. Ate at Mimi's Cafe (my favorite restaurant) and it was de-lish.

Sitting here facebooking and just chilling. Church was good tonight, we had our Christmas special and then we had fellowship meal afterwards.

Ate at an 'Indian Buffet" today and it was disgusting. I have finally found a food that I hate. It is Indian food. Bleh.. The rice pudding almost made me sick. Sorry if you like Indian food, but you can have my share.

Ok, just thought I'd do a quick post. I'm not feeling to great right now, been kinda depressed since I got home. Fort Smith depresses me. I am thinking about moving somewhere, I don't know just where yet though. My friend Sydney is moving to Portugal, I want to move with her. haha.

Ok, see ya.

-Bri

It's not all hunky dory..

2010-12-17T00:59:00.003-06:00

Tonight was fun.

Up until we went to Waffle House at midnight. Never again will I go to the one on 71 late at night.

What happened: We were sitting in a booth, me and Chris on one side, Taylor and Mason on the other side, and Caleb pulled up a chair to the booth. We had eaten and were just sitting around talking when these high/drunk/whatever 2 guys came in. There was also a lady with them, but she was not drunk. One guy was younger, I'd say about 27, and the other guy was about 45-50 (really tall and scary looking). They kept cursing and carrying on about only God knows what, and then the scary guy stands up and goes to the bathroom. As he is coming back, he passes Caleb and says "Punk" under his breath.. Caleb didn't hear him though, so he turned around and said "What?" (not in a rude way though). The guy comes up to Caleb and starts saying "I'm going to f-ing slit your throat, you bleepity bleep". He then grabbed Caleb's neck and starts shoving him out of his chair. He let go, and then he leans across me, to Mason, and tries to head but him. Mason just stayed cool, and we were all calm, but he kept saying stuff about slitting their throats and calling them names and asking if we had a problem with him. Then he really got angry, said "I don't like you, you f-ing whatever", and wanted to fight. The lady stepped in and told him to get his a** to the car, and she kept apologizing saying that he usually doesn't get this drunk. He kept trying to come back, and then these nice (but scary also) looking guys came up and pushed him back. He shoved him to the floor, knocking the lady, the other young guy, and the guy who was trying to help us down to the floor. They eventually paid and then left.

I don't know why this has affected me so much tonight. It made me shake and cry. All I could think was "He has a gun, or a knife, and he's going to pull it any second now and take out some pent up drunk anger on us". I was mostly afraid for Mason and Caleb, for some reason he didn't want to have an issue with Chris (thank goodness). It just reminded me how scary people can be when satan gets a hold of them through liquor- or any medium really- to mess with them and others. Evil exists. It's a scary thing. I am glad that I have God on my side and that he will take care of me no matter what- even if I do die. If I die, that would actually be the best thing that could happen to me. Like Paul said, "To live is Christ, to die is gain". Meaning, to live we get to live out Christ, but if we die we get to go to heaven and be with God- which is the ultimate reward.

It also made me very thankful for my parents. My mom has always been super cautious with me. This situation made me realize that maybe she is right- anything can happen, you never know, and we need to take as many precautions as we can.

Thank's God for saving us and protecting us tonight. Thanks for friends who would have protected me and Taylor if anything would have happened. (at least they said that after the fact that they would have- I don't know if those scardey cat boys would have done anything or not haha).

Just got a phone call. Chris is one of the sweetest guys ever. He called to make sure I was ok, and told me to watch Pride and Prejudice to get my mind off of it so I won't have nightmares... sigh. I am blessed with scardy cat awesome guy friends who take care of me- that's nice when I don't have anyone who really fits that job description right now. Even family.. ok we won't get into that here, this is public haha. Even though no one reads this thing. Ok, I'm really leaving this time.

Love,

Bri

2010-12-16T18:34:00.002-06:00

Today...

I am sick.

Still sick. Still sleep deprived.

BUT

I had a fabulous time last night :)

And I am fixin' (yes, I am from Arkansas so I can say fixin) to go bowling with Chris!

Don't tell him, but I am going to kick his butt. Last time we went he did awesome though, he got 200 (gag) so I have a tough record to beat.

Last night was so fun though. The bible study group that I go to on Wednesdays (college group) had their Christmas party. It was a tacky sweater party where everyone wore tacky sweaters and we played Dirty Elephant (mix between dirty santa and white elephant).

I ended up with Landon Riley's homemade popsickle ferris wheel thing. It was hillarious.

I am so blessed with awesome Godly friends who keep me laughing when all I want to do is cry and be depressed all of the time.

The horses are as snug as a bug in a rug in their blankets tonight. It's cold out there, they were happy to have them on.

I am going to NWA this weekend to spend time with Sydney- I love her. We are going to watch movies, sleep, church it up, and shop. Oh, and maybe do a little hot tub'in ;) Her appartment complex is soo awesome, they have inground pools/hot tubs everywhere, and all her friends live there so it's fun to hang out with everyone. They also have indoor basketball courts and a gym. Can't wait to live there when I move up there for grad school!

Ok, I'm done rambling, time to go bowling! :)

Love,

Bri

2010-12-14T23:46:00.002-06:00

So over Christmas break I PROMISE to write on this blog more. Ok?

Ok, so right now I have officially finished my 3rd semester of college. I have 60something hours finished and 70something more to go. Yipeee.

I think I have all A's this semester so far, but we will see when the final grades come out. I know I have A's in alteast three classes.

I am super loopy right now because I have taken my meds for tonight (I'm sick, and being sick sucks), and they make me dizzy. So I should probably head off to bed. I have to work at a horse farm in the morning, I love my job.

This is probably making no sense. I am so tired. I stayed up till 4 last night finishing a final project that was due at 6 today.

Ok, bed time,

Love,

Bri

I'm so sick and tired of Socrates..

2010-11-22T01:45:00.002-06:00

8 pages later...

I'M ALMOST DONE WITH MY STUPID PHILOSOPHY PAPER!!!!
C-HECK YES!

that is all.

2010-11-03T01:45:00.002-05:00

Somedays I wish I could be a professional novelist. I am writing a book right now, I have been for years, but sometimes I just want to move off to the beach so I can write for eternity. My inspiration would then, in turn, vanish. So that messes up that plan.

When I write, I write from life experience. I write down all of my stories that God has allowed me to be apart of and experience, and I use them as a reminder of what life is all about: The good and the bad. The funny and the disturbing. The 'hey let's go jump off this rock!' times, and the 'oh maybe that wasn't such a great idea' afteraffects. This is me. This is what's up.

Went to New Orleans this weekend. I don't even know how to describe it in words. God taught me so much through what happened.

First Lesson: When your good friend has a seisure (not sure how to spell that, where is mozilla firefox spellcheck when I need it?!?), PRAY. Pray pray pray. Know that God is in control. Make the best out of every situation. That is what we did this weekend, and it makes me so happy and joyful that everyone was respectful and happy- even though 6 hours in the hospital waiting rooms. I love you BCMer's!!

Second Lesson: MAKE DISCIPLES!! Don't just evangelize, evangelize with your life and then continue on with discipling them! You can't just make Christians and then expect them to do it on their own; show love, get involved in peoples lives, don't care so much about the numbers of 'oh this is how many were saved this weekend', care more about the quallity that you are giving and showing people. Care about them, not just the numbers.

Third Lesson: Don't go to Burbon street on the Saturday night right before Halloween. I got my 'first kiss' (haha not really- but a guy did make out with my window I might add) this night. It was horrific. My spirit has never been so disturbed in all of my life. God worked through this night though, and he protected us through it all. I love how He works.

Fourth Lesson: God is bigger and stronger than anything I can even imagine. When I imagine the biggest and strongest and most powerful He can be, I am so underestimating Him even then. This makes me feel happy and safe.

Fifth Lesson: It's ok to dance it up and have a good time with my friends. That's pretty much all we did in our 12 hour rides too and from AR. I love to dance and sing. This is my personal revelation though this weekend. One of my new favorite songs is "Jenny from the Block" by Jlo. Pretty legit, if I do say so myself.

I am ready to go out and make disciples now. Sooo ready. I have two in mind right now that God has given me to love on them. My prayer this week is that I can adequately show God's love like he would want me to to these people, and whoever else I am around. To be a good influence, and light shinner for God.

Peace out.
-Bri

Tweet tweet...

2010-10-05T00:56:00.002-05:00

Uhm. I am addicted to twitter. It's my new favorite social networking tool. Follow me: thelovelylime

Oh, Hi! I haven't been on here in awhile. I have been super duper busy with school and work and socializing (haha) that I have not had time to socialize on the blog. Anyways, here's what's been goin down:

Have been going to school. All A's so far. Just got a grade back from a hard essay test I took in philosophy, and I got a 96!!! God helped me out on that one, which is way cool. That's a fun story I'll have to tell sometime..

Have been riding all the time getting prepared for an arabian show near little rock. I am taking both arabs to this one, and we are going to show hunter. I have a little girl who is going to show Nazwan in the walk trot youth stuff. That will be fun to watch. Another little girl is going to ride him in leadline classes... love it.
Psyche is such a gift from God, well both of them are, but lately Psyche has really bonded with me and has been aiming to please me. It makes me so happy when I go out to the pasture now and he wants to go out and work. That is such a big change from when I first got him a year ago and he hated the world. He is such a different horse now, so happy and lovin' life. We have been going on solo trail rides lately down massard and all through fort chaffee, and he has a blast. No spookyness, and he loves visiting with construction workers on the side of the road. I am taking him on a ride this weekend at sugarloaf mountain. Excited about it :)

Yesterday I got to ride a saddlebred horse... a country pleasure (I think?) horse, which is like riding a frieght train that has no 'slow' pace. What an adrenaline rush that was..

Weekends have been awesome lately. I have some lovely friends, and lately I have been getting to hang out with Chris more, and that is awesome. Usually our schedules and locations clash. I wish he would just move up to Fort Smith! Last weekend he came down on Friday to go to the Greenwood game with me then we went back home and watched movies for awhile.. and then Saturday we went bowling. I am such a bad bowler. Him and the guys get scores in the 140's, and I am lucky if I get in the 100's. Hah.

I am sad the Drive-in is closed down for the winter now. It was so much fun, and now it's getting to be just the right temp to take my blankets and curl up to watch movies outside. Oh well.. it would be fun to rent it for one night for friends only. Hmm...

Selling my car. That's fun. Hopefully getting a Scion TC (baby blue would be awesome.. or black.. or silver with charcoal wheels.. ). I will be happy with whatever though. I'd actually just rather drive my truck, but the gas mileage isn't too nice to me.

I've started playing intramural football. Trying to learn what the rules are and stuff so I don't screw things up for us on the field. We played today and lost pretty bad.. but hey- I learned what rushing means! And that you have to have 5 on the line! Go me!

My good friend Randy got saved and baptised the other day!!! SO HAPPY about this!! We've been prayin for Randy ever since we met him, and the Lord took care of it. Congrats Randy, we love you!!

Wow, I am talking alot tonight... I am really tired but I can't sleep, as usual. I need some sleeping pills. Someone come and serenade me to sleep.....

OH found a new fav. song- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y5lO4hEAJHU
:Just the way you are: by Bruno Mars... check it out. Seriously. It will get stuck in your head forever. And ever. I love it.

Also, another good one is She is Love by Parachute.... mmm

Stupid Dave Matthews is getting stuck in my head all the time lately, haunting me with their creepily true lyrics that tick me off....
Arg.

Oh well. Guess I'll shut up now and go read. I trick my eyes into trying to shut, then eventually my brain catches on ;)

Peace out :)
-Bri

"Lead Me to the Cross"

2010-09-01T21:04:00.003-05:00

That was the title of a song we all sung last night.. and it has stuck with me ever sense.
God is so cool. Just sayin.

This week and last have been amazing, God has been working in my life and in my friends and it is so cool to feel and watch. The Source last night (our BCM worship night) was so awesome, you could feel Him in the room. The message was great, it really hit home with alot of people, so that was really great to watch. The worship, as usual, was awesome, but this time I think it really was amazing because we had 127 people in the room singing their hearts out to God. What a powerful thing that is to be a part of and hear. So cool.

As for classes, they are all going really well so far. I have Intro Programming, IT Project Tools, Networking Fundamentals, Earth Science, and Philosophy. 18 hours all together. I thought it would be so difficult at first, but it's actually working out well because it gives me something to do all of the time, and I am never not busy.. I am sure I will regret it later, but now I like being busy and it is good for me.

Florida was good, I went the week before class started. Glad I went, had fun with the family. The beach there is so pretty, and the house we stayed at was gorgeous and huge.

Ok, I am done yammering, just thought I needed to update with this. Also, I wrote my first program in Intro Programming tonight and it works and that makes me happy!!! :))

-Bri

Oh happy day

2010-08-12T00:06:00.003-05:00

Just returned from our adventure in Fairfield Bay AR. .... ..

Was pretty much amazing. Had the time of my life with my besties.

I am not as depressed as I was in that last post..
I apologize for that. Oops. Oh well, no regrets right?

So we went tubing, kneeboarding, cliff jumping, movie watching, swimming, hot tubing, basketball playing (me and trev beat ethan and archie whoohoo!) and trail hiking this week.

I am so sore that this morning and yesterday I could not move. I have bruises everywhere! But it was oh so worth it!

-----

I am now chillin and going to get on my to-do list tomorrow before we leave for Florida. Also, trail riding tomorrow with Hannah... that will be fun, I haven't riden a horse in goodness knows when.

-----

Ok, just thought I'd post a short whatever about my week. It was awesome. Not much else can sum it up like the word "awesome".

Peace out

By the way, I made it through the day

2010-08-06T02:34:00.004-05:00

It's so ironic, is it not? This life that I have created for myself.. something I always told myself would happen, but now it is here. I don't want it to be here. I want it to go away. Expecially this feeling...

Feelings.
Feelings are so prinkley. Why did God choose to give us these contrary things that make us go insane?

Don't answer that. I already know the answer. I just don't want there to be an answer sometimes...

----
On a more realistic note, today was relatively good. I made it through the day, as my lyrically inclined status states. I am mentally just not where I should be right now though.. I wish it were all butterflies and rainbows. It really did used to be that way. Now I am just... I don't even know if there is a word or phrase that can explain it fully or even partially.

I don't know why I am posting this here. I just opened it and started writing. No one reads this anyways. I guess I can just look back on this to remind myself of how aweful I felt. How this feeling feels...

I almost died today. I almost got hit by lightning. Almost. Almost seems to be a word that is used a lot when talking about me and happenings that involve me. I am the "almost" child. "Almost" successful. "Almost" finished. "Almost" an 'A'. Not quite all there. Never enough. Sometimes I wish I would just totally fail at something, or totally rock at something. Mediocracy is not pleasant. Even when I do succeed at something, it feels as though I don't even deserve that. Why?

----

Briana, listen to me. When you re read this, remember this. People suck. I suck. No one is perfect. Even though you have heard that cliche phrase so many times over, it is still true. Doesn't make it right though. Strive for perfection. Please, please do. You will hate yourself if you don't, even though you know you will never perfect it. Just try. This is all I ask of you (myself). Try for it, and do what GOD wants you to do, not anyone else. I know you are scared. I know life is tough. I know relationships fail and let you down, and you let them down too. But still try. It's worth it. Atleast that's what it says in the good book, right?

----

Why am I so depressed tonight? I think it's because I watched this stupid movie called "Love Story" and it really stunk. It was about this couple who fell in love and then she died in the end from a blood disease. They didn't even try to cure it. They just accepted that she was dieing and they let her. Sad, is it not...

----

What do I want to do? I wish someone would just tell me... oh wait. They already did. Look where that's got me...

----

These lyrics are with me today...
"I still hold on to the letters you returned, I swear I've lived and learned... It's 4:03 and I can't sleep...the only thing that I still believe in is you, if you only knew.... If you only knew how many times I counted all the words that went wrong, if you only knew how I refuse to let you go even when you're gone..."

"Tell my mother, tell my father, I've done the best I can. To make them realise, this is my life, I hope they understand... I'm not angry, I'm just saying.. sometimes goodbye is a second chance."

Falling Apart

2010-06-28T01:21:00.002-05:00

Barely breathin', with a broken heart, there is healing..

No.

-------------------------------------------------------
So the whole trip overall was pretty awesome. Cali the first week, Sedona AZ the second. I really really missed my mom though. Weird, huh? :P

So now I am back home. Nothing is the same.
Everything keeps changing, but I seem to stay the same.
Don't know what to do, it seems like I strive in vain.
I think I need an island where no one knows my name.

Hah I rhymed!

Anywayss....

This week. Garage sale. Yay! Excited about that, and also my friend Julie is coming over to ride with me. We've been wanting to ride together for a long long time, but have never had the time to do it. But her kids are gone on vacation with their grandma, so now she has two weeks to hang out and hopefully ride with me!

Missin' my Sarah friend. I love her, can't wait till we get a place together!! Soon, soon. Don't know where we are going to keep out accumulated 5 horses haha, but hopefully we will find a duplex with land nearby or something we can rent.

Weeding out my friends list right about now. It needed a cleaning (in real life, not on facebook)

When I got back home, it was 2 am, and I had been missing my horses so bad. I went straight out to see them, and they were in their new pasture that we opened up for them. Psyche was the first to see me, and he came running up to me. It was one of my favorite moments I have ever had with horses. He came running, then slowed down to a prance once he reached me. He stood there with his arabian attitude shining through, and he reached down with that arched neck and started sniffing me like I was a long lost friend. Then came Darcy, then Nazwan, and Clusie was still munching on grass- unaffected by it all. I am so blessed, thank you LORD for my horses and the people who made that happen and allowed it.

'Count you're blessings name them one by one...'
I love that song, it was one of my favorites when I was little.

The saddest part of my two weeks away was a phone call I recieved during my stay in Arizona. My mother called, and she told me that my dog had ran away and had been missing for two days. My dog, Abby, is a border collie who has been my best friend for 11 years. I love her to death, and she seriously is/was my best friend. She would go out with me every morning and night to feed and take care of the horses. If Psyche or Darcy acted up, I would give her the signal and she would herd them to where they were supposed to be. She was the best herding dog I've ever seen. When we lived out on the 40 acres, our neighbors had cows. They would always be getting out of their fences and roam around our property. She knew exactly where the property lines where, and when we gave her the whistle, she would go running and chase them perfectly back to their homes. I loved her, and I so hope she comes back. It's rare for her to be gone for more than a day, she ran away because of the thunder storms and because we were not home to let her inside. She always did that. But within a day, she would come moseying back home. This time she did not come home. We have searched all of the roads over and over again for her body, but have not found anything. I am still praying that God will bring her back to me.
Sorry for the rant, I just miss my dog.

You're the God of this City!

2010-06-23T23:38:00.003-05:00

There is no one like our God...
There is no one like our God...

I keep repeating this to myself throughout my days.
"Greater things have yet to come, and greater things are yet to be done in this city!", Chris Tomlin couldn't have said it any better in his song "God of this City"

And I so believe this. It also applies to my own life... "Greater things have yet to come, and greater things are yet to be done in my heart and life!"

I am so amazed at what GOD is doing in my heart. Not anyone else. God. My God.

I am so joyful... sometimes when things are at their worst, I just give it up to God, and he gives me peace. I so love peace. It's one of my most favorite emotions, and lately I had rarely been getting it. The reason for that though is because I was not asking for it, and I was not giving myself to Him. I wasn't letting go of the terrible things going on in my life that I can not control.

It's all over now though. For that I am thankful.

The Lord is good, and his mercy reins forever..

As undeserving of a person as they get..
-Bri

It's a Small Small World After All...

2010-06-18T02:26:00.002-05:00

I think I last left off at Norco, didn't I? Well after that we went straight to Seal Beach where Doty's Aunt Vicki lives. It is gorgeous here, and their are beaches everywhere. That first night we chilled at the house and then Jamie and Kemery came over for dinner.

Day two in Cali, we went in search for the Ocean. The first beach we came across was a not so nice beach. It was more for volley ball, running and dogs than for water sports. Later we found Huntington beach, which so far is my favorite. It has a large pier that stretches out into the ocean, and the sand and beach is very clean. The waves were really big and fun, but there was a rip tide that day so the lifeguards were yelling at all of the people to get out of the ocean. It was really funny. They didn't listen, and there were helicopters flying over the ocean with rescuers perched on the side to make sure no one drowned.

Day three, to be continued. I am tired, we went to Disneyland today and my brain is fried. Goodnight to all.

Da Kine

2010-06-16T10:13:00.002-05:00

As I sit here listening to traffic sounds outside of my window in California, I am reflecting on my trip thus far. So far, I have been blessed by God's faithfulness, and have not had a rough trip. I was dreading the 24+ hour drive, but I was able to sleep through a lot of it, drive some of it (4 hours straight! It's a record!), and the other portion was spent admiring God's creation that I had never seen before. I think it first hit me in New Mexico when the mountains started popping out of the ground how beautiful it really was.

New Mexico was fun, we stopped on the side of the road once to take a picture with lava rock.
Arizona (my favorite state), is where we spent the night. We stopped in chilly Williams right out side of Flagstaff to stay the night. God did a cool thing here. We didn't know where we would be staying, dad just called his agent and said 'book us a room and tell us where we are going, I don't really want to deal with it", and the agent booked us a room in an amazing place. It was a ranch resort, with horses, basketball court, and heated swimming pool and hot tub. Ahh it was a nice surprise. I love the smell of horses in the dry air. Dad went running when he woke up that morning and he said he saw an elk.

Next destination, Norco. Norco stands for 'North Corona' and it is a town in California. I am in love with this town. Wanna know why? Because it is a town with nothing but horse people. The whole town is dedicated to horses. When you come into the town (and it is a large town btw), you do not see sidewalks, but rather horse back riding dirt 'trails' down the roads. The houses there are small, with half acre lots, but in their backyards every one of them had a pasture (a mini pasture) with atleast one horse in it. Pretty amazing. Their shopping centers there are nothing but horse shopping also. This was my favorite part. There was a huge store dedicated to consigned saddles and tack. Ahh Heaven.

biology STINKs

2010-03-30T09:46:00.000-05:00

i hate biology. did i mention that?

You don't know me...

2010-03-29T14:51:00.003-05:00

I dont know if this will work embedded or not.. I hope it does though. Boston, by Augustana.
Wish I could move to Boston where no one knows my name... just a thought.

Life

2010-03-28T18:16:00.003-05:00

Life... is interesting. And a blessing. The last time I posted was in October, and the title of the post is cracking me up.. I think I remember that feeling of extreme mouth pain when my wisdom teeth were coming in. Sooo glad I had them taken out, it was a terrible day when they stuck me with the IV 3 times (for those of you who don't know me, I hate IV's and needles and blood, it makes me have a mental breakdown pretty much..). I survived though, and now I have lovely holes in my mouth : )

Anywayss, it's been awhile. Lots of interesting/not so awesome/ and some awesome things have happened since I last posted.

Christmas came and went. Was one of the worst Christmas' for me, but I serve an awesome God who helps us through hard times... which is what he did for me.
Acquired a BMW (one of the things on my bucket list that has been completed now :)
Raced said BMW and thoroughly enjoyed it.
Finished last semester with a nice GPA, which I am super happy about.
Started a new semester, which is going well except for Biology.. I think I could possibly fail this class. I've never failed any class before. Kinda scares me.
Joined a workout class- lost 10 pounds and 2 inches so far.
Got 2 new houses to house sit.
I now have 6 riding students, which is the exact number I was wanting.
Have another job lined up for the summer training horses for someone and getting them ready to show.. pretty excited about this one.
Spring break came and went by really fast... it was a much needed stress break though.
It snowed so much where I live this winter, which is odd
I bought a new camera (one of the things on my "bucket list".. get a kick butt camera and learn how to use it and get paid for something you love eventually- still working on that part ;)
Made new friends
Lost a few friends
Declared a major (IT Web Development... )
And the list goes on...

So there is my list. I am going to try and post more on here, I know I say that every time, but now that I am getting back into designing websites and stuff I am sure I will want to try out some html on this blog. Like the new design by the way? :)

Smile,
Bri

2009-10-19T15:30:00.000-05:00

Wisdom Hurts. Especially when it's the teeth kind.

My wisdom teeth are hurting so bad this week. I would like to cut them out. But that would hurt worse.

Anyways, this week has really been a bad week. School is terrible, I have no idea why I am even going to college because nothing here interests me, and I don't know if I am moving to fayettville or not. If I move to that school I will loose my scholarship, which will make me moneyless... and I will have to sell my horses, and I will lose my job. I've been praying about it alot, and I just don't know what to do right now. One day at a time I guess. It'll all work out.

I joined the missions team at the BCM. Pretty excited about that. This month we are having a halloween carnival to outreach to the kids around this certain area. A church is sponsering it and helping us raise money for our team too.

Joe Darcy is doing better. Ronni helped me get him on a different feed schedule because his glucose levels are sky high, he is becoming diabetic kindove.
Got a new horse, Nazwan, he's a polish arab. He's really cool, he talks to us all the time and wakes me up if I've overslept and thinks he needs to be fed :P

I'm working for a lady 20 minutes away, helping excersise and train her horses. It's a pretty cool thing, I hope it keeps going good because I can help her start showing her horses we are working.

I've also started giving lessons to kiddo's. They are so fun, so far I have 3 regular students. I have 4 more slots open so hopefully they will fill up and I can start saving some money up.

Fall is here... that's always good. Started the fireplace for the first time ever the other day. That was neat, except dad smoked us out of the house because he turned the knob thing the wrong way.. hah.

Ok, I'm done ranting, have a nice day. Even though no one reads this is helps to get it on paper and look back at it sometimes to see what's been going on in my life when I forget. :P

-Bri

Exciting days :D

2009-09-23T18:25:00.002-05:00

So, I'm pretty excited today. Yesterday my book came in the mail that I've been waiting on for a week. It's called "Coming Attractions" by Robin Jones Gunn, she's my favorite author, and it's a series that I love. I get so excited when she writes a new book. Anyways, I read the whole book in less than a day. It was amazing. I am so excited about my future after reading that book.

Also, after reading that book, I've decided some stuff about a friend of mine and his friend. They are pretty much perfect for each other and I've been a jerk about it. Going to let him know that I think this when I talk to him later. Can't believe that I haven't realized this sooner. As much as I hate to say it, they kinda make sense together. The book just made me realize that for some reason. I do love it when God teaches me stuff through books like this. I get excited.

History test tomorrow. I can't stuff all this information inside my head, it's too much. Oh well, if I fail atleast I gave it my best.

Goin to church now to clean flowerbeds! I love working outdoors when the weather is like this. Sunny with a chilly breeze. This has been a great first day of fall. Or was that yesterday? oh well, anyways, I'm off.
-b

Prayer Request... Read!

2009-09-21T11:15:00.002-05:00

My Notes on Facebook wouldn't let me post this for some reason- so I posted it on my blog instead. Read this, and pray for Rifqa Bary, please.
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Urgent Prayer for Rifqa Bary
September 21, 2009

Dear Praying Friends,

This prayer request is extremely urgent! Please pray and forward it to praying people within your sphere of influence!

The fate of Rifqa Bary may be decided today. In July, in fear for her life, the radiant 17 year-old fled her parent's Ohio home to seek refuge with the family of an Orlando, Florida pastor. Florida attorney and pro-family leader John Stemberger took up Rifqa's case and is fighting to save her life (see Story).

Rifqa's devout Muslim family came to the U.S. from Sri Lanka in 2000. A fellow student led Rifqa to Christ at 14. In fear of her father, she kept her newfound faith secret until a year ago. Rifqa says her father has abused and threatened to kill her, and that he is devoted to the Koran, which calls for the execution of Muslims who convert from Islam. "Honor killings," routine in Muslim lands, are on the increase in the U.S.

Authorities at Facebook have closed a site on which scores of threats to Rifqa's life were posted. She is in grave danger (see her video testimony at RifqaBary.com).

The Florida Department of Law Enforcement, ordered to investigate the case, found "no evidence of criminal activity...to support" Rifqa's allegations. But a veteran FBI investigator sent by the Center for Security Policy, says the investigation was flawed.

Today, Monday the 21st of September, a Florida judge will decide if Rifqa must return to her parents. Jurisdiction will be the central issue at the hearing.

Pastor Lou Engle, a longtime leader in the national prayer movement, is asking Christians everywhere to pray September 21-25, and to fast on Friday, September 25th when fifty thousand Muslims will meet on the Washington Mall to "pray for America." (see Engle, Mall)

Please Pray for Rifqa and her attorney, that God will give them wisdom and victory in their legal effort. May God protect Rifqa, keeping her safe, even as He uses her to minister Christ to the Christian and Muslim worlds (Ps 91: all; 121: all; Eph 6:10-20).
May America's pastors and churches awaken to the challenge that the Muslim faith and activist political agenda poses to our nation and Christian heritage. May believers arise to pray and may Biblical truth and the power of the Holy Spirit mightily prevail as those with competing religious views vie for our nation's soul. May the advance of Islam be used of God to stir believers to ever greater faithfulness to Christ and may the Church learn how to love and effectively minister to those in the Muslim and other religious communities! (Ex 20:2-5; Ps 96:5; Acts 4:12; Gal 2:4-5; Mt 28:19-20; Mk 16:15).
Thank you for your prayers over these critically important matters!

Sincerely,

Rev. Pierre Bynum
National Prayer Director

blogging from my phone!

2009-09-20T15:29:00.000-05:00

I was going to see if this works so maybe I will blog more often..
my day:
church!then went to debs to get hay. then we unloaded the hay. now I am here procrastinating on doing more homework that is due tomorrow..... ick.

im going to start selling stuff here soon again. I've got a billy cooke saddle that im going to sell, 600 for it. its pretty cool, but its too bulky and heavy for my arab that im training.. need something a bit less harsh for him.
also going to sell all of my show clothes from back in the day. they r all a size too small.. :(.

anyways im just rambling. gess I better go be productive before church again tonight. cya!
-B

"Smiling's my favorite :))))))"

2009-09-20T00:44:00.002-05:00

Elf is so cool. That movie is pretty much amazing, and it has been stuck in my head since my birthday in July when we watched it on the bigscreen outside.

So what's new with everyone? Haven't been on here in awhile (I know I say that everytime I post but... I'm just sayin')

Lets see here. Tons of stuff has been going on for me lately, I'm loving it. God has been blessing me so much, it's crazy. I am amazed every day at how blessed I am. Thank you Lord :)

I started another semester of college in August. Oh what fun it has been. I am taking U.S. History II, American National Government, Logic and Design for IT (geek class that I love hehe), Speech (which has turned out to be awesome and a great way to get to know people), and Music Appreciation (easy easy class that is fun because I love classical music anyways..).

College, I've decided, is kinda lame. I like meeting people and all, sure, but they are not the kind of people I want to go and just hang out with. I think it is cool meeting them and hearing their stories though. But for instance, American Gov. class is sooooo ick because all they do in that class is gripe and debate about the stupid healthcare reform issue, and how it is affecting them and "woe is me" attitude and how Obama is brilliant. Hmm. Ya, not my favorite class to say the least. The debating gets entertaining sometimes though, because this one guy in my class is the one conservative of the bunch from what I gather other than me, and he gives them a good debate.

Joe Darcy is sick. I don't know what is the matter with him. I'm taking him to the vet next week and am going to spend a fortune but oh well, he is slithering away from me, and I need to fix it before it gets to a point where I can't get him back. I thought I had fixed it with his teeth, but nope. Still sickenlingly skinny. Poor baby, he looks so sad sometimes... makes me wanna cry because I just don't know what to do anymore and neither does any of my mentors.

I sold Guido this last week to my former Biology teacher. I was pretty bummed about that. First cars are always special, so I have heard, and I got pretty atached to him. I did, however, get a cool suprise from my parents. 323i BMW. :) So that made up a lil bit for having to get rid of Guido. He will be missed.

I'm watching Monk right now... I don't really know whats going on though because I haven't been paying attention, I've been typing. I'm not too good at multi tasking :P

SOUP!! !!!!! So, mi madre decided to make soup last week, and I'm addicted (jk, jk.... maybe). It is veggie soup with ground turkey meat and holy matramony, it's amazing. I kinda sorta really enjoy it alot :)

Oh, big thing- got another part time job in addition to my h-sitting job. I am now giving riding lessons to some pre-teens thru out the week. I love teaching kids how to ride, it's really fun. Makes me remember how horse crazy I was at that age...

Uh, ok I'm done, Rebekah just pulled into the drive way and I'm gonna go hang out with her.
Chow :)
-B

This needs to be read

2009-05-30T12:20:00.000-05:00

Found this yesterday on a site. Thought you would enjoy it, I did. Read, enjoy, be encouraged :)

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Dear You
How was your day today? Did anyone make you laugh today? I know how you love to laugh. Did anyone hurt you today? Don’t sweat them just pray for them. Though these times of economic struggle we must pray for one another more then we already do. I’m glad that you believe in God, and I’m glad that you practice your faith. I’m glad that you have knowledge and that you’re not ignorant.
I’m glad that you’re in good health and that you take care of yourself. I think people just don’t understand how important that is. What’s your favorite past time? My favorite past time is the UFC, nothing beats that well besides you and you’re not a past time. I promise to watch chic flicks with you and I won’t complain at all. As long as we’re together, I’m cool doing whatever.
I’m glad that you have one of the biggest hearts in the world. I’m happy to call you my other half, the future mother of my kids, my meant to be, the love of my life God has given me to live. You are special and you mean so much to me. When you walk in a room I always have this feeling that overcomes me and that feeling is pure joy to know that you’re the one I will be with for all times with no doubt ever. I’m happy God has given us his blessing.
You are one of those people that actually learned from your mistakes and teach others the other options they have of not making the same ones. You are the person that even if they do make the same mistake you’re there to pick them up and love them. You don’t smoke, you don’t belittle people, you have manners, and more importantly you have morals. I respect you whole heartedly.
I will always open the doors for you, and allow you to walk in first. I will pull your chair out when there is a chair to pull out. I will be romantic with you, trust me I know how to do this. You would travel the ends of the earth to be with me and I would do the same. Though there may be distance in the beginning we will find our way to one another.
I like hearing your stories, you make them worthwhile, and they’re never boring. Your past has strengthened you and you don’t live in it. You don’t see people in colors. When you use to date race wasn’t something that limited you. You like to smile. You enjoy conversation, and enjoy time to just be with each other without words. I respect that you don’t use profanity around kids and you may not even use it at all. I love how you’re so lady like.
I like that you’re honest. You are optimistic and you even give others hope. People turn to you all the time and that is what makes you a good friend as well. You’re not a Debby Downer, and with you there is never a dull moment. You like to play board games, you like to go to museums, you like to tell me interesting facts even though I may already know them I will listen to your melody any day.
I can’t wait to watch movies with you, I’m happy you don’t actually talk through movies. It’s good that you’re close to your family and I to mine, for one day we will introduce not only each other to them but them to one another. I have family everywhere so we do have pretty good vacation spots. Though I don’t know you, I trust God’s master plan that you exist. I love you my dear. Stay positive. I do exist.
Love Always
Me
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Bad Day. Bad Week. Bad Month.

2009-04-22T13:55:00.000-05:00

So I am graduating this coming Saturday.
And is scares me.
I don't want to grow up and get old and die.
I'm really nervous about the ceremony thing. Not my cup of tea. But I will get through it and not get sick and be done with it. And all will be ok.
College is making me so nervous right now. I'm in two college classes, and one class I have an 8 page paper due on Monday and I've only writen 4 pages of it. The other class (Algebra) I took a test today and I bombed it so bad.. gah.
Nicole and I's Gold award project got denied. Which royaly stinks.
So that is what was on my mind. I'm grumpy. Peace Out.
-B

It's been awhile...

2009-02-25T21:58:00.000-06:00

Today kinda reallly stunk. So I thought I'd post about it.
I was scheduled to have my senior pics done yesterday, and they got canceled and postponed to today. I was really nervous, but ready to get it over with. I planned on taking a few with Joe Darcy, my horse, and then going downtown to take some there. Well, I was at the barn today getting him ready, and I got him all spiffied up and pretty too early, the guy wasn't going to show up for another hour. So I thought I would put him in the covered arena to let him chill out up there so he wouldn't roll in the dirt and ruin my pretty job of cleaning him. I put up the cables that keep the horses in and let him go. The wind blew, and he just started galloping, full speed, in a frantic run. He decided to run straight for that cable, and he tried to jump it. He failed in jumping it and barreled right thru it and tore it out of its socket. Needless to say he now has no hair/skin on his chest and underarm area. He gashed his left arm up all the way to the bone, and the other leg was gashed too but not that bad. He now has stitches and can't walk very well, poor baby. He's on stall rest for atleast a week, and I don't know how well he's going to handle that. He hates being cooped up that long...
But anywho, life is kinda crazy here lately. Working on lots and lots of stuff for school, scholarships, Girl Scout Gold Award, and stuff like that. College is fun, but Algebra is pretty tough right now. I got a scholarship, but I didn't get the one I really wanted. I'm supposed to hear back from a few other companies for their scholarships soon, so maybe I'll get those, idk. I'm just ready for summer to be here, and for graduation and this time in my life to be over. People keep telling me this is the best time of my life, but I'm not so sure. I'm not really the type that likes this much busy-ness.
I am graduating April 25th btw!! Come one, come all! Lets celebrate school being over... atleast for a few months until I go to college full time :P

TARGET!!!!!! (pronounced 'tarshey' :P)

2008-10-24T23:36:00.000-05:00

Hey, did you know that target is AWESOME?!?! Did ya?? Well if you didn't, you do know. Because I say so!

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I totally went there today with Lemon, and we had a blast. They have fuzzy fury hats like this one

And now I really want one. They have hot pink ones. He prefered the camo (or black plaid?) one tho :P

Oh snap.

They also have big awesome cement things outside of their store that you can stand on and jump over!!!

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We are easily amused ^_^

~ Lime & Lemon

Breathing is fun... you should try it sometime.

2008-10-23T23:01:00.000-05:00

Aloha everyone. I am uber tired. Today was the last day of co-op, and I am kinda sad that it's over.
---------------------------

I got into my first ever wreck yesterday :( I am really sad about that. It was the first time I trailered my horse all by myself, and my dad's truck ate this other lady's truck. Just my luck. But atleast my horse was ok.

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I am going to bball practice for the patriots team next tuesday. Everyone keeps buggin me to play, even though I don't think I can play because of my age. I am an old'en. But everyone begs to differ, so idk, we'll see. I'd like to play though, basketball used to be all I did haha.

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For my english class I was assigned to research Lady Jane Grey. I'm really excited about writing my paper about her, she is the 15 year old girl that was queen of England for only 9 days. I'm not sure what the whole story is yet, I only got my assignment this week. I love history stories like that though, especially ones about England. yaay!

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I am so craving pizza right now... mmmhmm some pep pizza, extra cheesey, with ranch.. mmm...

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I am giving my first riding lesson tomorrow. Kind of nervous about that. Hope Mr. D acts good. I bet he will, he likes kids alot.

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I'm hopefully getting senior pics done soon. I still don't know who is going to take them for sure yet. I think I'm going to get a couple of people to take pics so I have options. Lady takes good senior pics... we were planning a day to go take pics. I also want some pics taken with Mr. D... I think I might have my horse friend take those since she knows horses and how to take pics of them. Blahhh, idk.. picture taking stresses me out.

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Ok, so there was a random post for ya. Enjoy my boring post!!! If you read this far, I am proud of you.

~Lime

Templates... ahh how I love templates.

2008-10-09T20:34:00.000-05:00

10/9/08~

So... this new template I'm playing with is not working right... not too sure how to fix it either. I haven't ever used a xml temp before. I finally got the links to work though, so I'm making progress!!!! :D
In my search for the perfectest template out there (and yes, perfectest is a word, atleast in my dictionary :D), I ran across some almost equally cool ones. Here's a list w/ links to those...

(I almost put this Awesome Artsy thing as my temp instead of the one I have now, which do YOU like better? :)
Here's a really awesome Garden/Flower themed temp... really like this one. Wish it wasn't so simple though.
This Piano Template was pretty cool, but too plain for my taste ;)
This FBI/Super Top Secret Template background and folder format was uber cool...
Ok, so I really wasn't considering this one, but it's AWESOME! Because it's a Ratatouille Template!! YAYY!! I loveth that movie ^_^

So there's a short list of the temp's I've been looking at lately. My next feat is going to be to import my music player to this blog... :)

Ciao~

Things to keep you entertained with life.. :D

2008-09-25T17:26:00.000-05:00

9/25/08~

Some of these are pretty funny. My personal favorites are 10, 17, & 19 :D Enjoy!
1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point ahair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want frieswith that.
4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN".
5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gottenover their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
6. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for smuggling diamonds".
7. Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy".
8. dont use any punctuation
9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat - with a serious face.
11. Specify that your drive-thru order is "to go".
12. Sing along at the opera.
13. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical soundsall day at work.
14. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't come to theirparty because you're not in the mood.
16. Have your co-workers call you by your wrestling name, Rock Bottom.
17. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I won! I won!"
18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot yelling,"run for your lives, they're loose!!"
19. Tell your children over dinner "due to the economy, we are going tohave to let one of you go."
20. And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity ... sendthis to someone to make them smile. It's called therapy.
--
Have a great day:)

Hi Kids!

2008-09-25T15:22:00.001-05:00

Heeyyy!! My first blog on this blog!! Yaayy! I'm in computer class right now (Emma says HI!).. and we are creating blogs. How fun is that? Well, its pretty snazzy, yep, just thought I'd let you know that. La te da!
Tootaloooo
-Lime