So this has been a crazy ride. These past two weeks I've been thrown more stuff to deal with. Won't talk about it here, too public, but prayer would be appreciated. Trying to figure stuff out and do what is best for me. Not ever sure what that is..
On a happy note (because I started off with a sad note- sorry!), I've been learning lots of new stuff lately. Working with art, learning more about God, and most of all learning what I actually like and don't like. For the longest time I think I've forgotten who I am and what I like. I feel like Julia Roberts when she plays Maggie in 'Runaway Bride'. Every guy she is with, she just adapts to what his interests are... and how he likes his eggs cooked. She'd never made up her mind what she actually liked, because she always let others make decisions for her. I've been doing that for the past 6 ish months or so I'd say, and I've been too stressed to do what would make me happy. I worry too much about what others think and how I can please them. Balance needs to be achieved. Here are some things I've decided I like and don't like:
1. I don't like... Mean sarcasm- you know, the kind that after they say it, they always say "ohh that was just a joke! You know I'm kidding..." when secretly you know they probably had truth behind it. I always thought I liked it, but I am actually not too fond of it. I'm tired of it I guess..
2. I don't like... Computers. I actually don't like working with computers. I've always had the idea that I did, but looking back on how unhappy I have been in school these past two years (after I've already gotten my degree...), I realize that I don't like them. I'm not good at it. Why'd I do tihs? Well, I know why, but let's not go there...
3. I love... horses- and I let a guy steer me away from them and talk me out of spending quality time with them so I would spend time on him instead. Wrong decision on my part to agree to that. Stress can lead a person to do things they wouldn't normally do I guess.
4. I like... myself. I actually like spending time with just myself. I like going up to the lookout, with my bible, and just hanging out with myself and God. I had forgotten that part of me.
5. I'm ok with... the way I look finally. I'm excited about loosing weight to I can be healthy. I like being healthy. It makes me feel good. I like running (slow), I like bike riding (not too far), and I like working out (not for more than an hour ;). I like tanning. I even like my stomach shrinking so I can get that belly ring I've been wanting for months now (:D) I know that is weird, but face it and embrace it: I'm weird.
6. I don't like... gossip. Being made felt to be invisible. Being hated. Finding out who my true friends are lately, and it sucks to see people keep being mean when you've done nothing wrong to them :(
7. I don't like... confrontation. At all. I have learned that I am truly a peacemaker at heart, and when I try and make peace with people who don't want to make peace with me, it hurts my heart more than anything I've ever felt before. I have never felt such excruciating pain.
8. I love... taking care of things and being a nurturing person. I love watching things grow, I love teaching people and animals how to do something, and I love puppies. I miss dogs, I miss having a dog, and I want one. Now. Praying that God would either quench my puppy craving with someone else getting one that I can play with all the time or me myself getting one.
9. I love... caring. I love it when I invest in someone's life, and they return the favor and care about me as well. It's never been mandatory for me, I love pouring into people anyways, but when someone takes the time out of their schedule and life to invest in mine, it makes my heart smile. I'm blessed that I have people that do that for me and really love me.
10. I love... laughter. Over the past few months, I'd lost it. I don't know where it went. I guess when you get seriously sad about life in general, the laughing normally goes away too. I'd lost that part of myself, and now it's returning.
I think I'll stop at my favorite number ten. OH, btw, my favorite way to have my eggs cooked you might ask? Scrambled.... Definiltey scrambled.
-B
Showing posts with label lessons. Show all posts
Showing posts with label lessons. Show all posts
March 12, 2012
January 26, 2012
SO STINKIN BLESSED!
So.... I've lost 15 pounds in 3 weeks!!!
WOOOHOOOO
Um. I'm excited. I'm stoked. My waist is smaller. My skinny jeans are on the verge of fitting. Life is GOOD!
So, on that wonderfully happy note, let's talk about what GOD is doing in my life lately. Because I know you wanna read about that ;)
1. The JOY of the LORD is my STRENGTH!!
I never realized how much this phrase has meant to me until this trial in my life. It seriously puts things in perspective. If I have the Joy of the Lord, that's all the strength I need! I Know he is going to get me through whatever I am going through, because He promises to do so!
2. Healing is in HIS hands!
Healing is coming like it has never been seen in my life before. On so many different levels. I won't post for the whole world to see, but I am being healed. I was prayed over, I was spoken over, it is crazy the things that have been happening in my life. I've never felt so good physically, which is such a blessing and an answered prayer. I am able to not be afraid when people touch me anymore. Such a God thing!
3. He makes Beauty out of Ashes!
This was spoken over me by my aunt, it is such a cool story, and it gave me goosebumps and made me bawl when she told me. So, the night before I left for my mission trip to Haiti, I broke up with my boyfriend. We were pretty serious, atleast I thought we were and he said we were, but God was telling me to end it because of things he was doing in our relationship that were not healthy or biblical to me. Well, that night after I had broken up with him, I was devastated. I don't think I've cried like that since I tore my ACL (in my knee). My physical and emotional pain were parallel, I could not tell one from the other. My heart was literally broke. At 4AM that night, I remember what I was doing. I was in and out of sleep, and I had just woken up and started crying again. I was questioning going to Haiti, and the devil was attacking me really hard. My Aunt told me after I had gotten back from Haiti that the same night at exactly 4 am God woke her up and said "Start praying for Briana". So, she prayed and prayed, fighting for me spiritually, and I thought that was just the coolest most amazing thing that God has ever done for me. Who knew, that in my lowest and weakest moment, that God was watching out for me and knew that I needed someone interceeding in prayer for me?? And then later, when I was back from Haiti having another terrible week because I did not want to be back in the states to face my screwed up life, that He put that in my life to encourage me and let me know that HE is still in control and loves me so much. It has strenthened and deepend my faith. I am so thankful. After she told me that, she also said that He gave her something to tell me, "God is going to make Beauty out of the Ashes of your life- He knows what He is doing, and He is going to make your life beautiful with these ashes you were handed to begin with".... it made me bawl. So awesome. And I got to looking, and there is a bible verse that has that in it as well-
Isaiah 61:3
"3 and provide for those who grieve in Zion—
to bestow on them a crown of beauty
instead of ashes,
the oil of joy
instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness,
a planting of the LORD
for the display of his splendor."
So awesome!!!! I just am so amazed and humbled lately at what God is doing in our lives.
4. Forgiveness is mandatory, not optional, in every situation!
So, I'll be honest: my biggest sin in life is not giving forgiveness. I've struggled with it all my life, ever since my parents got divorced, all the way up until now when I found out that my father was not my biological father and that there was a whole new family that wanted to know me. In the bible, it says that those who do not forgive won't be forgiven by God. That's a pretty heavy statement. I never realized how big forgiveness was to God until this year. But it makes total sense. How can we, total sinners, be good enough to not forgive people when God sent his ONLY son, Jesus, to die and come back to life for all of our terrible sins?? I am a sinner. So how can I not forgive someone when I am just as bad as them in the long run? So that's another huge lesson lately, just forgive and move on- but learn from yours and others mistakes and make the best of the situations you are in and have been dealt- because they are for a reason and can be for Glorifying God when we let them and make ourselves available and interruptable for the gospels sake. That leads me to my next lesson of the year....
5. BE INTERUPPTABLE!
In the New Testament, Jesus was interupted most of the time that he was trying to go someplace or heal someone. He was always interrupted! He actually got frustrated a couple of times it seems like, but he would always make time for the people who were inturrupting them. How many times out of our day do we say "Oh... I so would, but I've got to do this! ". For example, after bible study, I am always in a hurry to get out of there because it's late. I can't believe I am telling you this, but honestly, there have been times where I have avoided conversations that could have led into ones that were God honoring and placed there by God because I was too much in a hurry and wanted to be on "my time". How many times during the day do we miss opportunities because we are not "interruptable"? I've been really trying to slow down, look around at the lost people, and pay attention to the 'gospel starving' people around that would love a good Jesus conversation, or just need to be plain loved on. I challenge you to do the same. It's really cool the people you get to talk to and how much joy it gives you by doing and being available to God 24/7 and not just when it's 'convenient' for me.
Ok, that's it for now, but I am so glad I wrote all that down!! I have a really bad memory lately because of the stress I am under, so writing it down and just getting it out helps me process and remember. I hope if you read this that you are challenged as well and are encouraged! Because we do serve a God who cares... all the way from the small and mundane things of our lives up to the huge and life changing thigns going on as well.
Love you guys,
Briana
WOOOHOOOO
Um. I'm excited. I'm stoked. My waist is smaller. My skinny jeans are on the verge of fitting. Life is GOOD!
So, on that wonderfully happy note, let's talk about what GOD is doing in my life lately. Because I know you wanna read about that ;)
1. The JOY of the LORD is my STRENGTH!!
I never realized how much this phrase has meant to me until this trial in my life. It seriously puts things in perspective. If I have the Joy of the Lord, that's all the strength I need! I Know he is going to get me through whatever I am going through, because He promises to do so!
2. Healing is in HIS hands!
Healing is coming like it has never been seen in my life before. On so many different levels. I won't post for the whole world to see, but I am being healed. I was prayed over, I was spoken over, it is crazy the things that have been happening in my life. I've never felt so good physically, which is such a blessing and an answered prayer. I am able to not be afraid when people touch me anymore. Such a God thing!
3. He makes Beauty out of Ashes!
This was spoken over me by my aunt, it is such a cool story, and it gave me goosebumps and made me bawl when she told me. So, the night before I left for my mission trip to Haiti, I broke up with my boyfriend. We were pretty serious, atleast I thought we were and he said we were, but God was telling me to end it because of things he was doing in our relationship that were not healthy or biblical to me. Well, that night after I had broken up with him, I was devastated. I don't think I've cried like that since I tore my ACL (in my knee). My physical and emotional pain were parallel, I could not tell one from the other. My heart was literally broke. At 4AM that night, I remember what I was doing. I was in and out of sleep, and I had just woken up and started crying again. I was questioning going to Haiti, and the devil was attacking me really hard. My Aunt told me after I had gotten back from Haiti that the same night at exactly 4 am God woke her up and said "Start praying for Briana". So, she prayed and prayed, fighting for me spiritually, and I thought that was just the coolest most amazing thing that God has ever done for me. Who knew, that in my lowest and weakest moment, that God was watching out for me and knew that I needed someone interceeding in prayer for me?? And then later, when I was back from Haiti having another terrible week because I did not want to be back in the states to face my screwed up life, that He put that in my life to encourage me and let me know that HE is still in control and loves me so much. It has strenthened and deepend my faith. I am so thankful. After she told me that, she also said that He gave her something to tell me, "God is going to make Beauty out of the Ashes of your life- He knows what He is doing, and He is going to make your life beautiful with these ashes you were handed to begin with".... it made me bawl. So awesome. And I got to looking, and there is a bible verse that has that in it as well-
Isaiah 61:3
"3 and provide for those who grieve in Zion—
to bestow on them a crown of beauty
instead of ashes,
the oil of joy
instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness,
a planting of the LORD
for the display of his splendor."
So awesome!!!! I just am so amazed and humbled lately at what God is doing in our lives.
4. Forgiveness is mandatory, not optional, in every situation!
So, I'll be honest: my biggest sin in life is not giving forgiveness. I've struggled with it all my life, ever since my parents got divorced, all the way up until now when I found out that my father was not my biological father and that there was a whole new family that wanted to know me. In the bible, it says that those who do not forgive won't be forgiven by God. That's a pretty heavy statement. I never realized how big forgiveness was to God until this year. But it makes total sense. How can we, total sinners, be good enough to not forgive people when God sent his ONLY son, Jesus, to die and come back to life for all of our terrible sins?? I am a sinner. So how can I not forgive someone when I am just as bad as them in the long run? So that's another huge lesson lately, just forgive and move on- but learn from yours and others mistakes and make the best of the situations you are in and have been dealt- because they are for a reason and can be for Glorifying God when we let them and make ourselves available and interruptable for the gospels sake. That leads me to my next lesson of the year....
5. BE INTERUPPTABLE!
In the New Testament, Jesus was interupted most of the time that he was trying to go someplace or heal someone. He was always interrupted! He actually got frustrated a couple of times it seems like, but he would always make time for the people who were inturrupting them. How many times out of our day do we say "Oh... I so would, but I've got to do this! ". For example, after bible study, I am always in a hurry to get out of there because it's late. I can't believe I am telling you this, but honestly, there have been times where I have avoided conversations that could have led into ones that were God honoring and placed there by God because I was too much in a hurry and wanted to be on "my time". How many times during the day do we miss opportunities because we are not "interruptable"? I've been really trying to slow down, look around at the lost people, and pay attention to the 'gospel starving' people around that would love a good Jesus conversation, or just need to be plain loved on. I challenge you to do the same. It's really cool the people you get to talk to and how much joy it gives you by doing and being available to God 24/7 and not just when it's 'convenient' for me.
Ok, that's it for now, but I am so glad I wrote all that down!! I have a really bad memory lately because of the stress I am under, so writing it down and just getting it out helps me process and remember. I hope if you read this that you are challenged as well and are encouraged! Because we do serve a God who cares... all the way from the small and mundane things of our lives up to the huge and life changing thigns going on as well.
Love you guys,
Briana
December 28, 2010
Ok God, Lesson Learned..
I asked God to take away my pride. And God said "No".
He said it was not for Him to take away, but for me to give up.
I asked God to make my handicapped child whole. And God said "No".
He said her spirit was whole, her body was only temporary.
I asked God to grant me patience. And God said "No".
He said patience is a by-product of tribulations. It isn't granted, it is earned.
I asked God to give me happiness. And God said "No".
He said He gives me blessings, happiness is up to me.
I asked God to spare me pain. And God said "No".
He said suffering draws me apart from worldly cares and brings me closer to Him.
I asked God to make my spirit grow. And God said "No".
He said I must grow on your own. But He will prune me to make me fruitful.
I asked for all things that I might enjoy life. And God said "No".
He said He will give me life, that I may enjoy all things.
I ask God to help me love others, as much as he loves me.
And God said "Ah, finally you have the idea!"
He said it was not for Him to take away, but for me to give up.
I asked God to make my handicapped child whole. And God said "No".
He said her spirit was whole, her body was only temporary.
I asked God to grant me patience. And God said "No".
He said patience is a by-product of tribulations. It isn't granted, it is earned.
I asked God to give me happiness. And God said "No".
He said He gives me blessings, happiness is up to me.
I asked God to spare me pain. And God said "No".
He said suffering draws me apart from worldly cares and brings me closer to Him.
I asked God to make my spirit grow. And God said "No".
He said I must grow on your own. But He will prune me to make me fruitful.
I asked for all things that I might enjoy life. And God said "No".
He said He will give me life, that I may enjoy all things.
I ask God to help me love others, as much as he loves me.
And God said "Ah, finally you have the idea!"
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