That was the title of a song we all sung last night.. and it has stuck with me ever sense.
God is so cool. Just sayin.
This week and last have been amazing, God has been working in my life and in my friends and it is so cool to feel and watch. The Source last night (our BCM worship night) was so awesome, you could feel Him in the room. The message was great, it really hit home with alot of people, so that was really great to watch. The worship, as usual, was awesome, but this time I think it really was amazing because we had 127 people in the room singing their hearts out to God. What a powerful thing that is to be a part of and hear. So cool.
As for classes, they are all going really well so far. I have Intro Programming, IT Project Tools, Networking Fundamentals, Earth Science, and Philosophy. 18 hours all together. I thought it would be so difficult at first, but it's actually working out well because it gives me something to do all of the time, and I am never not busy.. I am sure I will regret it later, but now I like being busy and it is good for me.
Florida was good, I went the week before class started. Glad I went, had fun with the family. The beach there is so pretty, and the house we stayed at was gorgeous and huge.
Ok, I am done yammering, just thought I needed to update with this. Also, I wrote my first program in Intro Programming tonight and it works and that makes me happy!!! :))
-Bri
September 1, 2010
August 12, 2010
Oh happy day
Just returned from our adventure in Fairfield Bay AR. .... ..
Was pretty much amazing. Had the time of my life with my besties.
I am not as depressed as I was in that last post..
I apologize for that. Oops. Oh well, no regrets right?
So we went tubing, kneeboarding, cliff jumping, movie watching, swimming, hot tubing, basketball playing (me and trev beat ethan and archie whoohoo!) and trail hiking this week.
I am so sore that this morning and yesterday I could not move. I have bruises everywhere! But it was oh so worth it!
-----
I am now chillin and going to get on my to-do list tomorrow before we leave for Florida. Also, trail riding tomorrow with Hannah... that will be fun, I haven't riden a horse in goodness knows when.
-----
Ok, just thought I'd post a short whatever about my week. It was awesome. Not much else can sum it up like the word "awesome".
Peace out
Was pretty much amazing. Had the time of my life with my besties.
I am not as depressed as I was in that last post..
I apologize for that. Oops. Oh well, no regrets right?
So we went tubing, kneeboarding, cliff jumping, movie watching, swimming, hot tubing, basketball playing (me and trev beat ethan and archie whoohoo!) and trail hiking this week.
I am so sore that this morning and yesterday I could not move. I have bruises everywhere! But it was oh so worth it!
-----
I am now chillin and going to get on my to-do list tomorrow before we leave for Florida. Also, trail riding tomorrow with Hannah... that will be fun, I haven't riden a horse in goodness knows when.
-----
Ok, just thought I'd post a short whatever about my week. It was awesome. Not much else can sum it up like the word "awesome".
Peace out
August 6, 2010
By the way, I made it through the day
It's so ironic, is it not? This life that I have created for myself.. something I always told myself would happen, but now it is here. I don't want it to be here. I want it to go away. Expecially this feeling...
Feelings.
Feelings are so prinkley. Why did God choose to give us these contrary things that make us go insane?
Don't answer that. I already know the answer. I just don't want there to be an answer sometimes...
----
On a more realistic note, today was relatively good. I made it through the day, as my lyrically inclined status states. I am mentally just not where I should be right now though.. I wish it were all butterflies and rainbows. It really did used to be that way. Now I am just... I don't even know if there is a word or phrase that can explain it fully or even partially.
I don't know why I am posting this here. I just opened it and started writing. No one reads this anyways. I guess I can just look back on this to remind myself of how aweful I felt. How this feeling feels...
I almost died today. I almost got hit by lightning. Almost. Almost seems to be a word that is used a lot when talking about me and happenings that involve me. I am the "almost" child. "Almost" successful. "Almost" finished. "Almost" an 'A'. Not quite all there. Never enough. Sometimes I wish I would just totally fail at something, or totally rock at something. Mediocracy is not pleasant. Even when I do succeed at something, it feels as though I don't even deserve that. Why?
----
Briana, listen to me. When you re read this, remember this. People suck. I suck. No one is perfect. Even though you have heard that cliche phrase so many times over, it is still true. Doesn't make it right though. Strive for perfection. Please, please do. You will hate yourself if you don't, even though you know you will never perfect it. Just try. This is all I ask of you (myself). Try for it, and do what GOD wants you to do, not anyone else. I know you are scared. I know life is tough. I know relationships fail and let you down, and you let them down too. But still try. It's worth it. Atleast that's what it says in the good book, right?
----
Why am I so depressed tonight? I think it's because I watched this stupid movie called "Love Story" and it really stunk. It was about this couple who fell in love and then she died in the end from a blood disease. They didn't even try to cure it. They just accepted that she was dieing and they let her. Sad, is it not...
----
What do I want to do? I wish someone would just tell me... oh wait. They already did. Look where that's got me...
----
These lyrics are with me today...
"I still hold on to the letters you returned, I swear I've lived and learned... It's 4:03 and I can't sleep...the only thing that I still believe in is you, if you only knew.... If you only knew how many times I counted all the words that went wrong, if you only knew how I refuse to let you go even when you're gone..."
"Tell my mother, tell my father, I've done the best I can. To make them realise, this is my life, I hope they understand... I'm not angry, I'm just saying.. sometimes goodbye is a second chance."
Feelings.
Feelings are so prinkley. Why did God choose to give us these contrary things that make us go insane?
Don't answer that. I already know the answer. I just don't want there to be an answer sometimes...
----
On a more realistic note, today was relatively good. I made it through the day, as my lyrically inclined status states. I am mentally just not where I should be right now though.. I wish it were all butterflies and rainbows. It really did used to be that way. Now I am just... I don't even know if there is a word or phrase that can explain it fully or even partially.
I don't know why I am posting this here. I just opened it and started writing. No one reads this anyways. I guess I can just look back on this to remind myself of how aweful I felt. How this feeling feels...
I almost died today. I almost got hit by lightning. Almost. Almost seems to be a word that is used a lot when talking about me and happenings that involve me. I am the "almost" child. "Almost" successful. "Almost" finished. "Almost" an 'A'. Not quite all there. Never enough. Sometimes I wish I would just totally fail at something, or totally rock at something. Mediocracy is not pleasant. Even when I do succeed at something, it feels as though I don't even deserve that. Why?
----
Briana, listen to me. When you re read this, remember this. People suck. I suck. No one is perfect. Even though you have heard that cliche phrase so many times over, it is still true. Doesn't make it right though. Strive for perfection. Please, please do. You will hate yourself if you don't, even though you know you will never perfect it. Just try. This is all I ask of you (myself). Try for it, and do what GOD wants you to do, not anyone else. I know you are scared. I know life is tough. I know relationships fail and let you down, and you let them down too. But still try. It's worth it. Atleast that's what it says in the good book, right?
----
Why am I so depressed tonight? I think it's because I watched this stupid movie called "Love Story" and it really stunk. It was about this couple who fell in love and then she died in the end from a blood disease. They didn't even try to cure it. They just accepted that she was dieing and they let her. Sad, is it not...
----
What do I want to do? I wish someone would just tell me... oh wait. They already did. Look where that's got me...
----
These lyrics are with me today...
"I still hold on to the letters you returned, I swear I've lived and learned... It's 4:03 and I can't sleep...the only thing that I still believe in is you, if you only knew.... If you only knew how many times I counted all the words that went wrong, if you only knew how I refuse to let you go even when you're gone..."
"Tell my mother, tell my father, I've done the best I can. To make them realise, this is my life, I hope they understand... I'm not angry, I'm just saying.. sometimes goodbye is a second chance."
June 28, 2010
Falling Apart
Barely breathin', with a broken heart, there is healing..
No.
-------------------------------------------------------
So the whole trip overall was pretty awesome. Cali the first week, Sedona AZ the second. I really really missed my mom though. Weird, huh? :P
So now I am back home. Nothing is the same.
Everything keeps changing, but I seem to stay the same.
Don't know what to do, it seems like I strive in vain.
I think I need an island where no one knows my name.
Hah I rhymed!
Anywayss....
This week. Garage sale. Yay! Excited about that, and also my friend Julie is coming over to ride with me. We've been wanting to ride together for a long long time, but have never had the time to do it. But her kids are gone on vacation with their grandma, so now she has two weeks to hang out and hopefully ride with me!
Missin' my Sarah friend. I love her, can't wait till we get a place together!! Soon, soon. Don't know where we are going to keep out accumulated 5 horses haha, but hopefully we will find a duplex with land nearby or something we can rent.
Weeding out my friends list right about now. It needed a cleaning (in real life, not on facebook)
When I got back home, it was 2 am, and I had been missing my horses so bad. I went straight out to see them, and they were in their new pasture that we opened up for them. Psyche was the first to see me, and he came running up to me. It was one of my favorite moments I have ever had with horses. He came running, then slowed down to a prance once he reached me. He stood there with his arabian attitude shining through, and he reached down with that arched neck and started sniffing me like I was a long lost friend. Then came Darcy, then Nazwan, and Clusie was still munching on grass- unaffected by it all. I am so blessed, thank you LORD for my horses and the people who made that happen and allowed it.
'Count you're blessings name them one by one...'
I love that song, it was one of my favorites when I was little.
The saddest part of my two weeks away was a phone call I recieved during my stay in Arizona. My mother called, and she told me that my dog had ran away and had been missing for two days. My dog, Abby, is a border collie who has been my best friend for 11 years. I love her to death, and she seriously is/was my best friend. She would go out with me every morning and night to feed and take care of the horses. If Psyche or Darcy acted up, I would give her the signal and she would herd them to where they were supposed to be. She was the best herding dog I've ever seen. When we lived out on the 40 acres, our neighbors had cows. They would always be getting out of their fences and roam around our property. She knew exactly where the property lines where, and when we gave her the whistle, she would go running and chase them perfectly back to their homes. I loved her, and I so hope she comes back. It's rare for her to be gone for more than a day, she ran away because of the thunder storms and because we were not home to let her inside. She always did that. But within a day, she would come moseying back home. This time she did not come home. We have searched all of the roads over and over again for her body, but have not found anything. I am still praying that God will bring her back to me.
Sorry for the rant, I just miss my dog.
No.
-------------------------------------------------------
So the whole trip overall was pretty awesome. Cali the first week, Sedona AZ the second. I really really missed my mom though. Weird, huh? :P
So now I am back home. Nothing is the same.
Everything keeps changing, but I seem to stay the same.
Don't know what to do, it seems like I strive in vain.
I think I need an island where no one knows my name.
Hah I rhymed!
Anywayss....
This week. Garage sale. Yay! Excited about that, and also my friend Julie is coming over to ride with me. We've been wanting to ride together for a long long time, but have never had the time to do it. But her kids are gone on vacation with their grandma, so now she has two weeks to hang out and hopefully ride with me!
Missin' my Sarah friend. I love her, can't wait till we get a place together!! Soon, soon. Don't know where we are going to keep out accumulated 5 horses haha, but hopefully we will find a duplex with land nearby or something we can rent.
Weeding out my friends list right about now. It needed a cleaning (in real life, not on facebook)
When I got back home, it was 2 am, and I had been missing my horses so bad. I went straight out to see them, and they were in their new pasture that we opened up for them. Psyche was the first to see me, and he came running up to me. It was one of my favorite moments I have ever had with horses. He came running, then slowed down to a prance once he reached me. He stood there with his arabian attitude shining through, and he reached down with that arched neck and started sniffing me like I was a long lost friend. Then came Darcy, then Nazwan, and Clusie was still munching on grass- unaffected by it all. I am so blessed, thank you LORD for my horses and the people who made that happen and allowed it.
'Count you're blessings name them one by one...'
I love that song, it was one of my favorites when I was little.
The saddest part of my two weeks away was a phone call I recieved during my stay in Arizona. My mother called, and she told me that my dog had ran away and had been missing for two days. My dog, Abby, is a border collie who has been my best friend for 11 years. I love her to death, and she seriously is/was my best friend. She would go out with me every morning and night to feed and take care of the horses. If Psyche or Darcy acted up, I would give her the signal and she would herd them to where they were supposed to be. She was the best herding dog I've ever seen. When we lived out on the 40 acres, our neighbors had cows. They would always be getting out of their fences and roam around our property. She knew exactly where the property lines where, and when we gave her the whistle, she would go running and chase them perfectly back to their homes. I loved her, and I so hope she comes back. It's rare for her to be gone for more than a day, she ran away because of the thunder storms and because we were not home to let her inside. She always did that. But within a day, she would come moseying back home. This time she did not come home. We have searched all of the roads over and over again for her body, but have not found anything. I am still praying that God will bring her back to me.
Sorry for the rant, I just miss my dog.
June 23, 2010
You're the God of this City!
There is no one like our God...
There is no one like our God...
I keep repeating this to myself throughout my days.
"Greater things have yet to come, and greater things are yet to be done in this city!", Chris Tomlin couldn't have said it any better in his song "God of this City"
And I so believe this. It also applies to my own life... "Greater things have yet to come, and greater things are yet to be done in my heart and life!"
I am so amazed at what GOD is doing in my heart. Not anyone else. God. My God.
I am so joyful... sometimes when things are at their worst, I just give it up to God, and he gives me peace. I so love peace. It's one of my most favorite emotions, and lately I had rarely been getting it. The reason for that though is because I was not asking for it, and I was not giving myself to Him. I wasn't letting go of the terrible things going on in my life that I can not control.
It's all over now though. For that I am thankful.
The Lord is good, and his mercy reins forever..
As undeserving of a person as they get..
-Bri
There is no one like our God...
I keep repeating this to myself throughout my days.
"Greater things have yet to come, and greater things are yet to be done in this city!", Chris Tomlin couldn't have said it any better in his song "God of this City"
And I so believe this. It also applies to my own life... "Greater things have yet to come, and greater things are yet to be done in my heart and life!"
I am so amazed at what GOD is doing in my heart. Not anyone else. God. My God.
I am so joyful... sometimes when things are at their worst, I just give it up to God, and he gives me peace. I so love peace. It's one of my most favorite emotions, and lately I had rarely been getting it. The reason for that though is because I was not asking for it, and I was not giving myself to Him. I wasn't letting go of the terrible things going on in my life that I can not control.
It's all over now though. For that I am thankful.
The Lord is good, and his mercy reins forever..
As undeserving of a person as they get..
-Bri
June 18, 2010
It's a Small Small World After All...
I think I last left off at Norco, didn't I? Well after that we went straight to Seal Beach where Doty's Aunt Vicki lives. It is gorgeous here, and their are beaches everywhere. That first night we chilled at the house and then Jamie and Kemery came over for dinner.
Day two in Cali, we went in search for the Ocean. The first beach we came across was a not so nice beach. It was more for volley ball, running and dogs than for water sports. Later we found Huntington beach, which so far is my favorite. It has a large pier that stretches out into the ocean, and the sand and beach is very clean. The waves were really big and fun, but there was a rip tide that day so the lifeguards were yelling at all of the people to get out of the ocean. It was really funny. They didn't listen, and there were helicopters flying over the ocean with rescuers perched on the side to make sure no one drowned.
Day three, to be continued. I am tired, we went to Disneyland today and my brain is fried. Goodnight to all.
Day two in Cali, we went in search for the Ocean. The first beach we came across was a not so nice beach. It was more for volley ball, running and dogs than for water sports. Later we found Huntington beach, which so far is my favorite. It has a large pier that stretches out into the ocean, and the sand and beach is very clean. The waves were really big and fun, but there was a rip tide that day so the lifeguards were yelling at all of the people to get out of the ocean. It was really funny. They didn't listen, and there were helicopters flying over the ocean with rescuers perched on the side to make sure no one drowned.
Day three, to be continued. I am tired, we went to Disneyland today and my brain is fried. Goodnight to all.
June 16, 2010
Da Kine
As I sit here listening to traffic sounds outside of my window in California, I am reflecting on my trip thus far. So far, I have been blessed by God's faithfulness, and have not had a rough trip. I was dreading the 24+ hour drive, but I was able to sleep through a lot of it, drive some of it (4 hours straight! It's a record!), and the other portion was spent admiring God's creation that I had never seen before. I think it first hit me in New Mexico when the mountains started popping out of the ground how beautiful it really was.
New Mexico was fun, we stopped on the side of the road once to take a picture with lava rock.
Arizona (my favorite state), is where we spent the night. We stopped in chilly Williams right out side of Flagstaff to stay the night. God did a cool thing here. We didn't know where we would be staying, dad just called his agent and said 'book us a room and tell us where we are going, I don't really want to deal with it", and the agent booked us a room in an amazing place. It was a ranch resort, with horses, basketball court, and heated swimming pool and hot tub. Ahh it was a nice surprise. I love the smell of horses in the dry air. Dad went running when he woke up that morning and he said he saw an elk.
Next destination, Norco. Norco stands for 'North Corona' and it is a town in California. I am in love with this town. Wanna know why? Because it is a town with nothing but horse people. The whole town is dedicated to horses. When you come into the town (and it is a large town btw), you do not see sidewalks, but rather horse back riding dirt 'trails' down the roads. The houses there are small, with half acre lots, but in their backyards every one of them had a pasture (a mini pasture) with atleast one horse in it. Pretty amazing. Their shopping centers there are nothing but horse shopping also. This was my favorite part. There was a huge store dedicated to consigned saddles and tack. Ahh Heaven.
New Mexico was fun, we stopped on the side of the road once to take a picture with lava rock.
Arizona (my favorite state), is where we spent the night. We stopped in chilly Williams right out side of Flagstaff to stay the night. God did a cool thing here. We didn't know where we would be staying, dad just called his agent and said 'book us a room and tell us where we are going, I don't really want to deal with it", and the agent booked us a room in an amazing place. It was a ranch resort, with horses, basketball court, and heated swimming pool and hot tub. Ahh it was a nice surprise. I love the smell of horses in the dry air. Dad went running when he woke up that morning and he said he saw an elk.
Next destination, Norco. Norco stands for 'North Corona' and it is a town in California. I am in love with this town. Wanna know why? Because it is a town with nothing but horse people. The whole town is dedicated to horses. When you come into the town (and it is a large town btw), you do not see sidewalks, but rather horse back riding dirt 'trails' down the roads. The houses there are small, with half acre lots, but in their backyards every one of them had a pasture (a mini pasture) with atleast one horse in it. Pretty amazing. Their shopping centers there are nothing but horse shopping also. This was my favorite part. There was a huge store dedicated to consigned saddles and tack. Ahh Heaven.
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