Mother Haiti

Mother Haiti.... That was the name of our grand adventure we had all been waiting months for. For me, the trip was almost non existent. I am glad God chose to slap me upside the head through a few people to make me realize that I needed to be on that trip, no matter the junky circumstances of my life the day before we left.

This trip taught me so much, and opened my eyes to a different world than one I have come to know. God opened my eyes, and came through when I asked him to "give me Your eyes for just one second, give me Your eyes so I can see, everything that I've been missing, give me Your love for humanity"...
So crazy that this girl, who used to really dislike kids and the human race in general, had come to love people with so much passion that she cried every day almost in Haiti because of the sadness and poverty there.

One of the things I've come to realize is that people in poverty are not deprived of Gods love. Just because someone lives in the worst conditions possible does not make their Joy from the Lord any less of a Joy. From my experiences, they are actually much happier and nicer than most people I know.

Here's a recap of some of the things we did while there... 1. Went to schools and gave out school supplies and shared the gospel, 2. Went and did kids clubs and shared bible stories and sang, 3. Went to a revival in Les Caynes, 4. Did street evangelism, 5. Shared the Jesus film in the middle of a village, 6. Cleaned a beach with new Haitian friends, 7. Loved on kids at the Lavaca orphanage, 8. Went to church and listened to John preach with a translator, 9. Loved on some more orphans at the orphanage in port au prince, and last but not least, 10. Found a ladies "little black book" at the airport that had all of her passwords and sensitive information and am getting the opportunity to reach out to her also.

For now I'm done, but I will update on each section as I have time. Can't wait to write about what God had done through this trip.

Life changes

Life has been so all over the place lately. I just don't even know where to start to catch you up..

School:
God blessed me so stinkin' much this semester... I had the worst semester of my life in my "real life", so my school was definitely affected. I thought for awhile that I was going to drop out, but my mom said I really should just tough it out: and if I failed, then atleast I had a good excuse.
But, that's the amazing thing about our Lord. When we are weak, He is strong. He is made great in our weaknesses, and loves to be glorified. This situation is definitely one that glorified Him in every area of my life.
He gave me all A's and one C. If you knew exactly how bad I was failing during midterm, you would understand how big of a deal this is. I had all D's and one A. All of these classes were upper level graduating classes, and he provided. The class that I got the C in at finals, I had a 68.5 in the class. I have no earthly idea why the teacher would round that grade up. I know it was a total and utter God thing. I wasn't going to get to graduate this semester with my associates if I had gotten a D. Praise God for that! It was super encouraging to see those final grades while I was lying under my mosquito net in Leogane, Haiti. My squeals could probably be heard all over the compound.

Relationships:
Not sure on how to start this section either. It's been a rough semester relationally too. I won't go into detail, but I really learned about peoples character, and what I really need in my life right now. I learned that I let people do what they want with me and settle just because I love people so much and want to please people. I didn't care about myself, I cared more about others to an extent that really drained me and left me blindsided. When I did try to stick up for myself, I ended up being really hurt because they didn't care about what I needed in life right then with all my circumstances going on and could care less because they had selfish motives. That is one thing I've really learned about people: it's all about number one, even within Christians, that selfish mindset is ever so present. Haiti really changed my whole mind set on this issue... But we will discuss that more in detail later.

Family:
I gained so much new family this semester. I am so blessed, and even though my emotions have been on a loop-d-loop rollercoster, I realize now that I am so blessed. Who else can say they have 5 full fledged families that love them? It's crazy, but I know that God has a plan for everything that has happened and that in due time it will all be processed in my mind and make sense. Please pray that I will have peace about the decisions I am going to have to be making soon about things in this area.

Horses:
Horses have been on the backburner unfortunately. Still have all 4, but they are spread out. Naz is at grandpa allens, Darcy is in Fayetteville at a prospective buyers, and psyche and clusie are at home. My direction right now with them is to bring Darcy home, get him going again, sell him. Then get naz back on track with his back problems so kids can start riding him. Psyche, our love, just to get him back in shape so we can train for dressage, western pleasure, and barrels. I really want to try barrels with him, I really think he would have fun with it with his spiritedness. Maybe try Darcy out with them too. D is 16.2hh, and he has really good ground cover. We'll see... I really miss horses and am sad that all of this has kept me from them this semester. But God has given me a huge gift of a few of my new family members loving horses, so when I found that out it was just another reassurance that God is all up in this situation :)

Conclusion: this semester had been the roughest time of my life, but when God gives you trials and tough times, he is the strength you need :) he wants to be glorified, and if you do that, it will give you the joy that will be a bright spot in your darkest times. Love you all, I'll post later about Haiti trip.

-Bri

I am trying to update my blog background, but blogger is being mean to me.. so for now, blank background. Boo.

So I've been busy since I last blogged with life. Lots has been going on. Finished this semester out with:

Data Modeling: A

Total Fit: A

Golf: A

Intro Programming: B (yaay! PTL)

Net Client Support: B

Biology: C

So overall, I am happy. God has blessed me with great grades, and I was so nervous there for awhile.

I am going to start my internship @ AOG on Monday. That should be interesting.

Ok, just wanted to update a tad on here, now I am going to get off.

Oh, also, Darcy is going to a new home on June 5th. Bittersweet.

-Bri

Rise up to the Occasion that is Your LIFE

So I just had a sappy moment. A humbling moment.

Well, a few actually.

I just watched "500 Days of Summer". I don't know how that movie triggered so many emotions in me. It did trigger quite a few though; loneliness, dissapointment, abandonment, forgetfulness, love, the opposite of peace, what it is like without God,

that last one really got me choked up.

Until you think about life without God, things seem so normal. Then it hits you; wow, God really did not have to be available to us. He could have abandoned us, left us, dissapointed us, forgotten about us. But he is God. He loves us so much. It gave me so much hope, but then again gave me a burden and sadness because of all the people that I know personally and not personally that do not know about His love and what God and the Bible is really about.

I've been dwelling in the past. Tonight, today rather, has awoken a new life. I am ready to go forth and make disciples, to go forth and share the hope that is our God. Ready to rise up to the occasion of this Life that he has given to me, with mercy grace and love.

My prayer today is that God will give me the strength, courage, will, hope, determination to go and make disciples and to tell people about Him. That he would continually provide for this Canada mission trip. That he would work out the kinks in the trip, that we would be a blessing to the Hilton family. I pray that He would show me, guide me, in the direction that He would have me go in life. I know my main purpose, but I do not know what avenue He would like me to go and fulfill that purpose in. Thanks Lord, for all that you are, and thank you for continually amazing me. I love you.

Ever been in a freakishly sad mood?

That's what I have been going through today. Lots of stuff on my mind and I wish I could just get happy. That is hard to do when a heart has been stomped on. Got some text messages today that rocked my world in a bad way. Nothing is ever as it seems, no one is authentic as they try to be, and best friends are NOT 'till the very end'.

Ok, don't read this post if you are not in the mood for me ranting about people. It's not going to be a happy post, I'll warn you that up front.

Actually, I am just too sad to write anything right now. Two heartbreaks in one year is too much for my fragile heart to take. I'm done. I'm out of here, and done with the people that perpetually keep hurting me, intentionally or not, I can't take it anymore. I have lost all of my best friends except 2, one is in Texas and doesn't want to talk on the phone for more than a minute with me because he is too busy with his life and we have lost touch (that's fine, that happens in life, it's just sad), and my other one works 24/7 and we just don't have schedules that match up. So I am friendless (especially after today), jobless (applying at some places though), and soon to be homeless. This is great. Praying for the Lord to show me what the heck to do.

Ok, I'm done.

Mucho Amore,

Bri

What do you do when you are sick?

What do you do when you are sick?

Well, I clean tack.

I just habitually started cleaning today after tossing my cookies for 5 hours straight, and I found that funny. Not funny enough to laugh about, because my esophagus is dead, but funny enough to write on here about.

Today was crappy. I woke up at 5 am. and started throwing up. I was dizzy, fell down a couple of times, but at least I didn't throw up anywhere but the proper throwing up place. At least I didn't have to work today.

Last night was amazing. Went to a house party with some friends for the hogs game. Taylor G., Caleb B., Danny, and Chris were there with me. Oh, and Joel too. Joel makes me happy :) Well, so do the others, but Joel goes to Arkansas Tech, so when he comes home and graces us with his presence, it is a treat.

The hogs lost though... it was funny watching Taylor and Caleb freak out. I think Caleb cried. Joel Chris and I were laughing. They were because they are OU fans, and I was because I don't know anything about football, and I found it funny that they were so distraught over it. Sports fans crack me up. I want to work at Varsity Grill so that I can be around crazy sports fans all the time.

I am feeling better after writing this. Next Monday school starts, aka HELL starts. I am possibly changing my major, and I am really scared about that. Information Technology has been good to me, I've gotten A's in every course in the department, but I don't know if it is what I am supposed to be doing. In theory it sounds great, but I don't know if my heart is in it like my heart is in English. I love writing, I love grammar (I know you probably can't tell by my atrocious grammar on this blog), but I love showing people and explaining to people why something is grammatically incorrect or a sentence structure needs work. It's fun. I love researching, I love writing papers, I am a total English nerd. Heck, I've even written almost a full fictional (mostly fictional ;)) book. The only problem with it is I don't know if I will be able to make a living with it. Or get a job with it. So I am at a loss as to what to do.

Tell me what to do? ok thanks..

-Briana

It's a New Year... Time for a New me

So I brought in the New Year in a place I would rather not have brought in the New Year at.

But let's not talk about that.

It was a good experience, but now I know why I do not live that lifestyle of going out and partying and getting drunk. It's just not my scene, and I don't see how anyone would want to do that.

Smoking; also another pet peeve of mine. I get why people smoke, but I do not want to be around smokers to that extent anymore. I smelt like smoke for 2 days afterwards by just being in the presence of heavy smokers, even with showering two times. It is simply disgusting, and my throat hurt from it the next day.

Ok, done ranting.

We had a fabulous time other than that though! Before the festivities began in Fort Worth, we went out to eat at Razoo's restaurant in downtown. Best food I've had in a long time. I got the "tricky fishy" which was grilled and blackened tillapia with grilled crawfish on top, with a cajun rue over all of it with cajun green beans. Wonderful.

Trev got chicken strips. Kinda cracked me up that he got that at a great cajun place. He also got a Hurricane Hell Margarita, and that looked amazingly yummy. Almost ordered a virgin one, but I am too cheap. When Trev was not at our table, we told the waiter it was his birthday, and he brought him out a free cheesecake. I love free food! This was the 'weekend of free food' for me- God really blesses me with that lately haha. We got that free desert there, then at Rosa's Cafe I got an extra meal free because they gave mine to Trevor (which he gave me back- so two meals for the price of one!), then at Romas I got my meal free because she mixed up my order and brought me out the wrong thing- so I got two meals for free! Then at Longhorn steakhouse the other day, there was a hair in my chicken and I was pulling it out as the waitress walked by, and she took that one, cooked me another one and didn't charge me for anything. Thank's Lord!

Trevor got sick the last day we were there though. We were watching a movie (The Other Guys) and he just started puking. He puked after that from 12 at night until the next morning around 10. Poor guy. I cleaned up the puke for him though, and put new sheets on the bed for him, ran a bath for him (haha), and got him whatever he wanted. Basically waited on him hand and foot. I think he enjoyed that a little too much. He started asking for outrageous stuff at the end there, like a butt massage. I declined that offer. Haha oh how I love Trevor.

Right now I just got done filling out forms and paying bills. I hate paying bills. Not fun. But, my parents did sell my car!!! To my philosophy teacher. Kinda funny. One less thing to worry about money wise though.

Psyche will be officially in my name by next week. I am sending off the paperwork and the fees (ick, I hate all the fees. I ended up having to pay 55 dollars). I will be glad when all of this is taken care of and he will be in my name for this show season! Yay!

Taking Nazwan to get chiropractic work done tomorrow. That will be fun to watch. He has been moody lately when it comes to his back being touched, so it's time for chiro. $$$ for that, but it's worth it. He is worth it, him being a happy horse = me being a happy owner.

The horse dentist is coming out Thursday. I'll be excited to get that done too- one more thing off the list.

Ok, I'm going to bed. Hopefully I am not getting sick, I tossed my cookies a little earlier but now I am feeling ok. Hoping I am not getting what Trev had.

Love,

Bri