Ever been in a freakishly sad mood?

That's what I have been going through today. Lots of stuff on my mind and I wish I could just get happy. That is hard to do when a heart has been stomped on. Got some text messages today that rocked my world in a bad way. Nothing is ever as it seems, no one is authentic as they try to be, and best friends are NOT 'till the very end'.

Ok, don't read this post if you are not in the mood for me ranting about people. It's not going to be a happy post, I'll warn you that up front.

Actually, I am just too sad to write anything right now. Two heartbreaks in one year is too much for my fragile heart to take. I'm done. I'm out of here, and done with the people that perpetually keep hurting me, intentionally or not, I can't take it anymore. I have lost all of my best friends except 2, one is in Texas and doesn't want to talk on the phone for more than a minute with me because he is too busy with his life and we have lost touch (that's fine, that happens in life, it's just sad), and my other one works 24/7 and we just don't have schedules that match up. So I am friendless (especially after today), jobless (applying at some places though), and soon to be homeless. This is great. Praying for the Lord to show me what the heck to do.

Ok, I'm done.

Mucho Amore,

Bri

What do you do when you are sick?

What do you do when you are sick?

Well, I clean tack.

I just habitually started cleaning today after tossing my cookies for 5 hours straight, and I found that funny. Not funny enough to laugh about, because my esophagus is dead, but funny enough to write on here about.

Today was crappy. I woke up at 5 am. and started throwing up. I was dizzy, fell down a couple of times, but at least I didn't throw up anywhere but the proper throwing up place. At least I didn't have to work today.

Last night was amazing. Went to a house party with some friends for the hogs game. Taylor G., Caleb B., Danny, and Chris were there with me. Oh, and Joel too. Joel makes me happy :) Well, so do the others, but Joel goes to Arkansas Tech, so when he comes home and graces us with his presence, it is a treat.

The hogs lost though... it was funny watching Taylor and Caleb freak out. I think Caleb cried. Joel Chris and I were laughing. They were because they are OU fans, and I was because I don't know anything about football, and I found it funny that they were so distraught over it. Sports fans crack me up. I want to work at Varsity Grill so that I can be around crazy sports fans all the time.

I am feeling better after writing this. Next Monday school starts, aka HELL starts. I am possibly changing my major, and I am really scared about that. Information Technology has been good to me, I've gotten A's in every course in the department, but I don't know if it is what I am supposed to be doing. In theory it sounds great, but I don't know if my heart is in it like my heart is in English. I love writing, I love grammar (I know you probably can't tell by my atrocious grammar on this blog), but I love showing people and explaining to people why something is grammatically incorrect or a sentence structure needs work. It's fun. I love researching, I love writing papers, I am a total English nerd. Heck, I've even written almost a full fictional (mostly fictional ;)) book. The only problem with it is I don't know if I will be able to make a living with it. Or get a job with it. So I am at a loss as to what to do.

Tell me what to do? ok thanks..

-Briana

It's a New Year... Time for a New me

So I brought in the New Year in a place I would rather not have brought in the New Year at.

But let's not talk about that.

It was a good experience, but now I know why I do not live that lifestyle of going out and partying and getting drunk. It's just not my scene, and I don't see how anyone would want to do that.

Smoking; also another pet peeve of mine. I get why people smoke, but I do not want to be around smokers to that extent anymore. I smelt like smoke for 2 days afterwards by just being in the presence of heavy smokers, even with showering two times. It is simply disgusting, and my throat hurt from it the next day.

Ok, done ranting.

We had a fabulous time other than that though! Before the festivities began in Fort Worth, we went out to eat at Razoo's restaurant in downtown. Best food I've had in a long time. I got the "tricky fishy" which was grilled and blackened tillapia with grilled crawfish on top, with a cajun rue over all of it with cajun green beans. Wonderful.

Trev got chicken strips. Kinda cracked me up that he got that at a great cajun place. He also got a Hurricane Hell Margarita, and that looked amazingly yummy. Almost ordered a virgin one, but I am too cheap. When Trev was not at our table, we told the waiter it was his birthday, and he brought him out a free cheesecake. I love free food! This was the 'weekend of free food' for me- God really blesses me with that lately haha. We got that free desert there, then at Rosa's Cafe I got an extra meal free because they gave mine to Trevor (which he gave me back- so two meals for the price of one!), then at Romas I got my meal free because she mixed up my order and brought me out the wrong thing- so I got two meals for free! Then at Longhorn steakhouse the other day, there was a hair in my chicken and I was pulling it out as the waitress walked by, and she took that one, cooked me another one and didn't charge me for anything. Thank's Lord!

Trevor got sick the last day we were there though. We were watching a movie (The Other Guys) and he just started puking. He puked after that from 12 at night until the next morning around 10. Poor guy. I cleaned up the puke for him though, and put new sheets on the bed for him, ran a bath for him (haha), and got him whatever he wanted. Basically waited on him hand and foot. I think he enjoyed that a little too much. He started asking for outrageous stuff at the end there, like a butt massage. I declined that offer. Haha oh how I love Trevor.

Right now I just got done filling out forms and paying bills. I hate paying bills. Not fun. But, my parents did sell my car!!! To my philosophy teacher. Kinda funny. One less thing to worry about money wise though.

Psyche will be officially in my name by next week. I am sending off the paperwork and the fees (ick, I hate all the fees. I ended up having to pay 55 dollars). I will be glad when all of this is taken care of and he will be in my name for this show season! Yay!

Taking Nazwan to get chiropractic work done tomorrow. That will be fun to watch. He has been moody lately when it comes to his back being touched, so it's time for chiro. $$$ for that, but it's worth it. He is worth it, him being a happy horse = me being a happy owner.

The horse dentist is coming out Thursday. I'll be excited to get that done too- one more thing off the list.

Ok, I'm going to bed. Hopefully I am not getting sick, I tossed my cookies a little earlier but now I am feeling ok. Hoping I am not getting what Trev had.

Love,

Bri