Living with consequences...

So, I wrote this the other day on here but wasn't sure if I should post it. I think I should though, because it shows my real self, and how Christian relationships can go when God isn't the center of them. Please don't judge me after reading this. It's just an honest rant. And you should also know that since writing this, the guy being talked about has called and tearily apologized for all the terrible stuff he had put me through, and God is doing amazing works in his life. I so care about this individual and want whats best for him, and I want God to totally freak him out an blow his mind with what only our God can do!! I'm so excited what God is gonna do in his life...

Disclaimer: the following post is filled with brash opinion, ranting tangents, and non relevant information. Please proceed with caution, the author is not responsible for lost brain cells or wasted time. You have been warned...


Ever have that feeling where you just know you are starting one of these "avoid these people at all costs because they hate you" lists? well, I just had that experience and now have a list that is quite similar to that. I really wish people would grow up, treat others with respect, and just plain love Jesus and love people.

I know I've made some stupid mistakes In the past, and more specifically in the past few months, but I know that now and am paying for the consequences. I should have known that the gut feeling of "she is trouble, maybe he isn't quite over her like he promised a million times he was" was one to pay attention to. I was wrong. And now I'm living with the consequences of someone ripping out my insides and throwing them on the ground while he walks over them with flippant Facebook posts referring to said girl and how he never will quit fighting for her.
Also love how this post will be public. Good thing no one reads this. Or let's hope that's the case. I'm past the point of caring honestly. I speak my mind lately in a God loving manner, and I thoroughly enjoy it.

Anyways, back to the consequences and lessons I've learned.

When someone tells you that you are "the one", goes on dinner dates with your dad to get approval, tells you how God is all up in and around the relationship, how he knows God wants you together, and talks about your future together and your future kids etc... don't listen to it. Until a ring is on that finger, don't play into the lies. Just don't. I know it will be tempting, the words probably are coming out of his mouth like butter on a hot biscuit, but don't do it. Guard needs to be kept up. At all times.
And when he starts getting defensive about you having his phone, never letting you read over his shoulder, be worried. He is hiding something.

My favorite one is when he says he is going to try his hardest to hang out with you before you leave for Haiti because he claimed to be sick the night before when he had said he was going to come over then... But then you get a text saying he knows you are going to be mad about this but he wants to hang out with said girl instead (refer to first paragraph rant) even though his girlfriend (that's you) is leaving the country and won't see him for about 2 and a half weeks. He will try to make the excuse of "well I promised her first that I would hang out with her"... This was before last night, when he told you that he would try his hardest to be not sick to hang out with you this night before you leave. For you blondes out there, that means he lied and hid it from you. Awesome huh? Oh, and for kicks, he is planning on going to go to a 10:30 movie with said girl.... Alone.

Rule of having a girlfriend- especially in a God pursuing and God loving way: I don't care who you are, you need permission to go out alone with another girl. Especially one you used to be in love with. Especially especially when your current girlfriend had specifically asked at the beginning of the relationship that said boyfriend would keep that friendship to a minimum because it hurt her heart the way he had picked the other girl over her the semester before.
Alert: if this has happened to you, douche move has been played. You officially have been downgraded on the list of said douches priorities. Abandon ship. Cut losses. Because the next step is called physical cheating my friends... That stage was a mere emotional cheating. Honestly not sure which one sucks more...

Ah that felt good :) I am soo in love with my savior, and if a guy is so caught up in himself that he doesn't do what is right in Gods eyes, then why waste my time? Time is so precious. I've learned lately that in the end, family is the best and closest thing you have. They are stuck with you! It's such a great feeling to know that someone isn't going to trade you in, break up with you, not care about you, etc. Family. And I am so blessed now in that department, because I just gained so many new family members... Oh lord thank you for your provisions. I love you and trust you fully, and am relying on you for every step here on out.

Ok, done Ranting :) I feel better. Love you lord :)